Sunday, July 02, 2006
This Feeling is Killing Mie!!
On calvin and vanesa's issue:
haish...just read vanessa's blog...understand her feeling...cos that is how i felt...only that i better than her in a way that i'm still seeing him twice per week..while she is seeing him a few times per month? However better also no use..it mean that it will take mie a longer time to forget about him..
*>.<'' argh!! why are the two of us suffering because of him??
*(-.-)'' and why must it be us??
For a moment i really feel like crying..reallie...realli duno how to handle all these..i need help!!
Adrian love mie but was rejected by me-->I love Calvin but was rejected by him-->Calvin love Vanessa but was rejected by her-->Vanessa love Calvin but refused to accept him!! Wad on earth is tat?? Somehow i really hate it...why vanessa just couldn't accept him..?? As in she miss him badly..she love him deeply BUT why?? Why can't she give him a chance? I understand wad she want..and how she feel about certain thing..But why dun wanna give him a chance? Who knows he might change for her?? Really wanna see them together...really..*Calvin and vanessa, i really mean it*
Why am i doing that? i really dunno why..(T.T) wad i know is that i really want them to be happy...who knows i can 100% forget about calvin...Somehow i feel that they are a perfect pair..plus both of them are in love with each other BUT now they are telling mie that they are trying to forget each other?
who can actually understand how i feel now? No one...Not even vanessa.
On adrian's issue:
Recently he sent mie quite a number of sms saying tat he want mie back..saying that he love mi..saying that he need mie..saying that he miss mie..asking mie to give us a chance...asking mie to go back to him..
Somehow i felt irritated by all these messages...firstly i dun wan to get back together. Secondly no point getting back together since we often quarrel almost everything. The most importantly is that i dun love him anymore..i'm just couldn't forget about Calvin..
I dun wanna hurt him anymore...i dun wanna hurt him using cruel ways..But he is forcing mie to the extend that i am using it..it hurt mie when i noe i'm using it..But if i dun use..i will not have peace...Some suggest that i should reject his call, But i dun wish to walk out of his life completely..cos i noe he will feel worse..[ I care for your feeling not because i still love you or concern about you..but it's just that i really dun wanna hurt you even more you see? ]
He knew why i dun wanna get back to him..But he keep insist mie to get back to him no matter how much i love calvin..he even said that he dun mind mi loving 4 or 5 guys even when i'm with him..as long as i dun leave him..
Well this is like so impossible..no guy will ever want a girl who love soo many guys when they are together...Not even mie..i can't even stand myself for loving calvin when i'm with adrian...It make me feel like i'm flirting with other guy..yuck!! hate it!!
dunno wad to do about these 2 guys..one is i can't forget about him..one is keep asking mie back...Do you think i should give us a chance?? If yes...Wat's the reason for it and why should i give us a chance?
Took some pictures yesterday, before going for self study and tuition:
haish...just read vanessa's blog...understand her feeling...cos that is how i felt...only that i better than her in a way that i'm still seeing him twice per week..while she is seeing him a few times per month? However better also no use..it mean that it will take mie a longer time to forget about him..
*>.<'' argh!! why are the two of us suffering because of him??
*(-.-)'' and why must it be us??
For a moment i really feel like crying..reallie...realli duno how to handle all these..i need help!!
Adrian love mie but was rejected by me-->I love Calvin but was rejected by him-->Calvin love Vanessa but was rejected by her-->Vanessa love Calvin but refused to accept him!! Wad on earth is tat?? Somehow i really hate it...why vanessa just couldn't accept him..?? As in she miss him badly..she love him deeply BUT why?? Why can't she give him a chance? I understand wad she want..and how she feel about certain thing..But why dun wanna give him a chance? Who knows he might change for her?? Really wanna see them together...really..*Calvin and vanessa, i really mean it*
Why am i doing that? i really dunno why..(T.T) wad i know is that i really want them to be happy...who knows i can 100% forget about calvin...Somehow i feel that they are a perfect pair..plus both of them are in love with each other BUT now they are telling mie that they are trying to forget each other?
who can actually understand how i feel now? No one...Not even vanessa.
On adrian's issue:
Recently he sent mie quite a number of sms saying tat he want mie back..saying that he love mi..saying that he need mie..saying that he miss mie..asking mie to give us a chance...asking mie to go back to him..
Somehow i felt irritated by all these messages...firstly i dun wan to get back together. Secondly no point getting back together since we often quarrel almost everything. The most importantly is that i dun love him anymore..i'm just couldn't forget about Calvin..
I dun wanna hurt him anymore...i dun wanna hurt him using cruel ways..But he is forcing mie to the extend that i am using it..it hurt mie when i noe i'm using it..But if i dun use..i will not have peace...Some suggest that i should reject his call, But i dun wish to walk out of his life completely..cos i noe he will feel worse..[ I care for your feeling not because i still love you or concern about you..but it's just that i really dun wanna hurt you even more you see? ]
He knew why i dun wanna get back to him..But he keep insist mie to get back to him no matter how much i love calvin..he even said that he dun mind mi loving 4 or 5 guys even when i'm with him..as long as i dun leave him..
Well this is like so impossible..no guy will ever want a girl who love soo many guys when they are together...Not even mie..i can't even stand myself for loving calvin when i'm with adrian...It make me feel like i'm flirting with other guy..yuck!! hate it!!
dunno wad to do about these 2 guys..one is i can't forget about him..one is keep asking mie back...Do you think i should give us a chance?? If yes...Wat's the reason for it and why should i give us a chance?
Took some pictures yesterday, before going for self study and tuition:
LoOkIn up sAyIn Arloz
Took this photos yesterday:
Chocolate
So cute!! >.<''