To: Geradine and Jessica Gurl, you noe something happened during midnite *today*. I needed someone to be there for mie bt still i wish to keep it to myself. Just dun feel like saying it...And it's pretty late for mie to call euu...Yep..i was crying alone in my dark room..[yep my eyes swell when i wake up this morning]...he told mie something that made me keep silence for long...i dun even wan to listen to him playing his guitar..cos i noe i will cry even more...he told mie tat he fall for his senior etc...Bt why?? And why her?? He knew its impossible for them...yep he said tat...But why bother to tell mie n hurt mie?? Yesh..he read my past entries and he should noe hw i feel if i knew it...Did he do it on purpose? Or was it a lie to see my reaction? I knew this day will come but i din expect it to come so early..i'm not prepared for it...wad can i do?? wad should i do?? And wad else can i do?? Im in a lost..reallie...why do i love him soo much..to the extend that i can't even stop loving him..once again he broke my heart...Initially wana haf a good tok with him cos i knew he won't be calling mie everynite [when his school start]...and i noe i gona miss him a lot...haish in the end the conversation was rather silence...i din tell him how i feel but i think he noe ba..
He asked mie why i soo silence...bt i din answer his question..just act as normal...bt deep down my heart i'm feeling sad and disappointed and eventually i cried...Why?? Why am i soo in love with him?? And why mie?? I just knew him not long and yet?? i'm realli serious about him..No joke..Im nt desperate abt him...although i sound like one...yep i admit i wan him..bt i'm not doing any things to make him be with mie..haish..also dunno wad i toking..euu noe sometime it's hard to express yourself in words...
Sound ridiculous rite?? yesterday i was darn happy with him...no words to describe how happy i was...bt today feeling heartpain...i find it funny...realli...dun you think soo?? Everything can just change within a nite...yep jess gonna hate guy even more..bt pls dun...And pls dun hate him...it's my fault...Haish..need not worry for mie...i had vent out my anger by hitting the wall real hard...dun be xin tong k?? At least euu two should be glad tat i din cut myself..was thinking of that..but think think not worthy to do that..den dun wanna let euu all worry also ..haish hopefully the pain in my heart will fade...and things will be better again?? This time i'm gona be strong!! I DUN CARE!! aaahhhH!!!
Honestly speaking...i'm sick and tired of all these...reallie...i dun wanna think about it anymore...i dun wanna face it anymore...i noe i'm gonna escape from it...i hate escaping...bt i think i will feel better this way...yep escape abt the fact that i still love him as much as last time...i'm gonna tell myself tat i dun love him anymore...etc...haish...do you think i'm doing the right thing?? And wad do euu think i should do??
Was listening to some chinese songs...and find certain sentences quite meaningful...started to wrote them down on a piece of paper...
Guang Liang- Yue Ding You ren shuo... Shi jian ke yi lan ren wang ji yi xie shi qing... Shen zhi yi xie wo men bu xiang wang ji de shi qing...
Ni Na Me Ai Ta Ni na me ai ta... Wei he bu ba ta liu xia lai... Wei he bu shuo chu xing li hua...
<=Memories=> * 28 June 2006 [The day we knew each other] * 11 June 2006 [first time listened to him playing his guitar] * 21 June 2006 [Second time listened to him playing his guitar] * 28 July 2006 [Third time listened to him playing his guitar] * 29 July 2006 [Forth time listened to him playing his guitar] * 12 June 2006 [Our first argument about math stuff] * 12 June 2006 [First time tag mie in my tagboard ] * 16 June 2006 [Our second serious argument about kept mie waitin] * 10 June 2006 [Told him that i Miss talking to him] * 15 June 2006 [Gave him a jar of Home Made Cookies] * 10 June 2006 [Din talk for days cos he went for his camp] * 31 July 2006 [ Move into hostel ] * 31 July 2006 [Eat dinner at beauty world Bukit Timah] * 1 Auguest 2006 [ Went JB and return home late] * 1 August 2006 [ Went home sleep instead of hostel ] * 11 August 2006 [ Call mie darling for fun] * 11 August 2006 [ Was force to call him darling for once ] * 12 August 2006 [ Hugging ] * 13 August 2006 [ Disappointed with him ]