Friday, August 04, 2006
Life will be meaningless without him...
Is another morning...a saturday morning...din had a good sleep...was dreaming abt wad is bothering mie..Dunno wad happened to Last nite also...feel soo horrible..started to sit on the bed and listened to the song from a cdr: "the way you look at mie"...this song made mie reflect on lots of thing about calvin which i intend to save it in my phone..and then transfer it to my blog...yep like wad i said i wanna be honest to my blog...Yep...we are taking thing naturally and taking thing slowly at a time. Its a good way of doing thing...like wad i said...no rushing yea?? He din say one day we will be a real couple...but we agreed that who knows what will happened next time...Bt still the longer it take and the more we contact each other, the more i feel that we are impossible...feel that we can only be friend or at most a close friend? The probability is "0". Not even a "1"..there won't be any hope 4 us to be together..
For a moment i really wan to forget him, forget about mie loving him and soo on...It's tiring...It's tiring to love smeone who dun even love mie at all...But will i regret if i really choose to forget about him? Or is it just a temporary thinkin? As in now wanna forget him but tomorrow dun wish to?? If i really choose to forget him...will my love for him fade??
i noe myself too well..i noe that i deeply in love with him..If i die die also dun wanna let it go...Wad if we won't be together?? And...wat if...wat if one day he love someone else or he got a girlfriend?? Isn't it disappointing and sad for mie?? And isn't it wastin my time?? And the dream n hope that i am hoping 4...will be gone in a second...i dare not think of this day...really...i dun wan it to arrive..i dun wan to lose him completely...i noe if this dae come, i won't be able to take it...and i noe its time for mie to forget about him completely...it's hurting...it's sad to say that he had became part of my life unknowingly...Without him...my life will turn upside down...just feel that it will be meaningless for mie to stay in this world...
Calvin:
If you happened to came in to read my blog...juz wana let u noe tat u are important to mie...dun ask mie why...i'm still figuring out...I dun need u to be with mie but....i dunno...yep...not to worry about mie..i promised you that i will forcus on my O level no matter wad happened...By the way just to let you know that you are the first person that i actually expressed my love to...not even my ex...Is just a information for euu..and not to make euu feel fortunate -.- Once again dun tell mie that you feel like you are letting mie down...cos euu did not...The only day you will let mie down is when you found someone that you love...but still it's your right to do so...you just have to follow your heart...
haish...
Afternoon...
Went to Mac at around 12pm?? Got tuition at 1.30pm...den Calvin said he will reached there early like 12.30??...soo ya lo..wanted to pei him...So reached there earlier to do my account...while him reading his book...and guess wad?? he was held up..and he came at 1.20 instead of 12.30 =.= zhao zhi dao i do my account homework at home den come...like tat no need to bring my book along ma..So end up i'm doing my work alone...den received a sms from minnie...she said she will be late cos she having lunch wif her mum...so ya lo...2 of them bang seh mie..-.-'' yep..Calvin came earlier than minnie...bt we din talk much also...Minnie was pretty late...she reached around 1.50 like tat...so she actually kept us waiting...
First time see him wear sleeveless clothes...yep nw i noe why he looked soo big size -.-'' --> muscles...oo well..i think he wear t shirt is nicer than he wear sleeveless clothes la...he look as if he trying to show off his muscles?? and hahaa...he look like ah beng like tat =x hmm...if he go put tattoo on his arm..wah!! confirm look like gangster one...x)
The tuition was rather bored...minnie was tired..and i'm quite moody plus all sort of feeling...So din really joke...plus the question on graph is making us darn pek cek...guess wad?? we took about 1 hour to do 1 graph question...-.-'' horrible rite??
After tuition...calvin went off first...den followed by mie..cos minnie was taking her own sweet time to pack her stuff...yep went to carpark to look for calvin..bt he wasn't there..haha...cos he went to toilet at mac...So went to hide...wanna bikaboo him..!! REVENGE!! bt still...disappointment..he saw mie...soo cannot bikaboo him...bt he also get a shocked..lolx...Went to carpark with him...yep..took some picture of him with his bike...a flavour from him la...hahaa...he look very sian in the pictures... and i realised tat he dun smile when taking pictures...lolx
