As usual had a conference with Pig and Cat last nite...haish...This is the first time i heard doobie cried on the phone...and is the second time for nick. Haish just hope he will not think too much...and hope tat he is feeling better today...hehe!! at least last nite we managed to make him laugh...wee!! ya!! Through singing a bdae song to him -.-'' He asked mie to sing...den i also very shy and wasn't prepared for it..somemore nick was there..lolx!! End up i managed to pull nick along..lol!! Cos i dun wanna reject doobie ma...he already soo sad liao..imagine i reject him..i dunno how he will feel sia...And happily..this Pig go record our singing -.-'' i got no ear to listen..no eyes to see...Cos mie and nick keep laughing non stop while singing!!
Wake up at 7am...yep had 2 and a half hour of sleep again -.-'' GOSH!! was darn tired...bt bo bian...gonna meet jermaine at Bukit Merah Interchange at 7.45am before meeting jessica and minnie at tiong bahru at 8am..cos we going to Red Star Restaurant to have Dim sum with Jessica and minnie!! hehe!! Yep jessica's dad drive us to there..and heh!! He treat us...Soo nice of him rite??...Right!! we are really mad...wake up early in the morning just to eat Dim Sum...somemore we are wearing School Uniform..cos we got chemistry lesson at 11am...-.-'' And happily the waitress thought jessica's dad as our teacher...and she happily said this: "Order somemore Dim Sum lo..since your teacher treating you all"...lolx!!
Went back to school after our Dim Sum...Reached school at around 10.15am...and guess wad we did?? We went round the school to take photos!! The best moment to takes lots of photos...Cos no student ma..den can do stupid and lame post...haha!! Took a lot of funny photos at different part of the school...well the main purpose is to keep it as memory...Tat's why the venue is at different part of the school...=D yep...finally i understand why actor and actress need to touch up when they take photos...cos a simple things like tat...can make us sweat!! -.-''
Went striaght to Bukit Merah Mac to have tuition...Was darn happy about it...although it was raining heavily...and we got no choice by to run under the rain...and thanks to the puddle of water on the floor..made my shoe wet onli -.-'' and yep i bang onto the wall...cos we have to run fast from one building to another..cos we can't stop immediately we reached the building...but luckily i din bang my head..lolx!!
Finally saw Calvin...was soo darn happy about it..And yep was looking forward to see him after my chemistry lesson.. i was so happy when i finally get to see him..i miss him badly!! It had been 3 weeks since our last meet..i was shocked when i see him..his hair is soo spiky and it look good on him..his dressin wasn't tat casual also...tat tee shirt he wore is soo nice!! It look nice on him...=D well i gonna admit tat this is the first time i see him wear until soo nice...=) The only thing that made mie stunned is he put on weight le...Cos recently he seldom go gym due to his tight shedule...But that doesn't make mie change my feeling for him...
Haish...i gonnaa admit tat i dun miss him as much as last time though i stil miss him badly...well i thought i finally can forget him at least a bit...i was somehow happy about it..cos i had made up my mind to forget about him...Same reason..Just feel tat we are impossible...but i was wrong...After today...i finally realised tat my feeling for him is still very strong...i still love him as much as last time..Well tat wasn't the main topic i wanna tok about...instead i wanna say tat i'm super sad and feeling confused... I started to think in a negative way again...I'm worried right now...i'm afraid he got someone he love...Just feel tat he got someone in his mind...juz feel tat he went dating with a girl after our tuition... I have no idea why i think in this way...Just feel that his attitude toward mie change...
In the past he used to call mie at least 3 to 4 times per week...but now?? ever since my prelim start he din call mie at all...yep i asked him not to call mie during the period when i'm having prelim...but how about after prelim?? He din even call mie at all...well..i managed to look at the positive side..and keep telling myself maybe he is busy with his work..or he is too tired to call mie...Then in the past he always sms mie..and whenever i sms him..he will reply...now?? He din even reply some of my sms...well..i managed to look at the positive side..and keep telling myself maybe he duno what to reply or nth to reply...or he was busy at tat moment...But now?? i just couldn't continue to think at the positive side..wadever on my mind now is negative thinking...yep asked myself some old questions again..."Wad will i do if this is true" and "How will i react when this is true"..maybe i'm just being too sensitive le..maybe he's with his buddy or wad?? Maybe he is just helping mie to forget him by not getting too close with mie??
arghhhh...i really duno...i got no idea wad he is doin..i got no idea wad he is thinking..and i got no idea wad i wan...i wanna forget him...yet i wish we can be together...i wanna asked him if he is dating another gurl..or he have someone in his mind...at least i will noe the answer and won't be here thinking about it...but i can't do it!! i dun wish to ask...i dun wanna noe...cos i dun wan to be diappointed...But if i dun ask..i will be carrying this feeling with mie for days, for weeks or even for months...And even if i ask him...he will be like..."should i tell her"?? Cos if he is being honest..he noe i will feel hurt etc...but if he dun..he is being selfish etc...I dun wan him to feel tat way..cos if he lie to mie..he will feel bad about it..which i dun wan him to feel tat way!! But i also dun wan him to be honest cos i dun wan to feel hurt or disappointed again...
People: What do you think i should doo about it?? Hope to get suggestions from Vanessa, Geradine and Jessica.