Thursday, October 26, 2006
*Him* again
Set my alarm clock at 7am...Wake up soo early just to wake bryan up...See i soo nice!! dun say i treat nick and doob better than euu horr...yep then went back to sleep after that..*tired sia*..sleep all the way to 10 plus...den dreamt of something weird again...it's *him* again...But is a stupid dream..haha!! dun even noe what is that?? Was dreaming that i reading the message that he sent mie...and the message is like soo messy...The first thing i do when i wake up is...listen music!! haha! in love with music...yep listened to songs from "glass shoe"...haish...mood kana affected again...sitting on the bed and stared at the phone for very long...My mind were full of questions again...
What the hack do i want??
What am i thinking??
What am i doing??
What am i worrying??
Result: No answer
Do i understand myself??
Ans: I dun think i understand myself
Do i noe what i wan in this world??
Ans: Not sure...i had been deceiving myself again and again
Haish...sad sia..mie myself dun even noe wad i wan..mie myself dun even understand myself..i can understand people soo well..but why can't i understand myself?? If i dun..who can?? No one...Not even Him
Went to study social studies after that...ZzZ...boring subject..but do i haf a choice?? i dun...is a boring subject...soo many things to learn...soo many things to memorise... write until my hand also pain sia...wrote a lot kie
Went down to meet my darling...cos we gonna study together...but before that we went to buy drinks first... yep meet her at NTUC to buy drinks "Peel fresh orange juice"...packet of skittles and a packet plum =x OMG!! i didn't realised that whatever i bought are all sour..=x Heh!! sound like we are pregnant..neh!! we are not...
Last Night, i teared for *him* again
Was thinking about the dream that i dreamt
Was thinking about *him* who i knew not long
Was thinking about what he said to mie
I wish i could control my mind
But i couldn't
Cos i'm a failure
Been questioning myself again
Hoping to find an answer this time
But no matter how i tried
I couldn't get any answer
I'm a useless gurl
Yesterday, i was super distracted with all these
I did a lot of mistakes
A mistake that no one will believe it
But i dun care
Eg: Instead of using cold water,
I used hot water to wash my feet
Not to worry
My feet is still surviving
[Good for blood circulation]
I wasn't thinking of *him*
But the dream that i dreamt
Now, what does this show mie again?
He seemed to mean a lot to mie now
Slightly more than last time
I will always look forward for his call and sms
Whenever my phone ring
I hope it was *him*
Whenever i received an sms
I hope it was *him*
A disappointment will be given
If it wasn't *him*
*Him Him Him and Him*
My Mind is just full of *Him*
Now, what does this tell mie again?
Sometime, i wish to know about all these
I wish i can find an answer for all these
But somehow, i choose to escape
I wish to know, but i dare not face it
Friends always asked mie to move on with my life
But i can't...
I think i can [i guess]
But somehow i dun wish to
Dun ask mie why
Cos i dun
Loving Him
I'm Loving Him
This saturday is our 4th months anniversary
It's a special day to mie
Not we had been together
But we had known each other for four months
Time flies...
["Him"] Been my tutor for 4 months
["Him"] Been my friend for 4 months
[Mie] Loving him for 3 months
*Wondering how long can this last*
Duno what happened to "Him"
Called "him" din answer
Missed call "him" din call back
Have no idea what happened to us
Feeling Confused
Feeling Sad
Feeling Disappointed
Feeling Lonely
Was thinking about the dream that i dreamt
Was thinking about *him* who i knew not long
Was thinking about what he said to mie
I wish i could control my mind
But i couldn't
Cos i'm a failure
Been questioning myself again
Hoping to find an answer this time
But no matter how i tried
I couldn't get any answer
I'm a useless gurl
Yesterday, i was super distracted with all these
I did a lot of mistakes
A mistake that no one will believe it
But i dun care
Eg: Instead of using cold water,
I used hot water to wash my feet
Not to worry
My feet is still surviving
[Good for blood circulation]
I wasn't thinking of *him*
But the dream that i dreamt
Now, what does this show mie again?
He seemed to mean a lot to mie now
Slightly more than last time
I will always look forward for his call and sms
Whenever my phone ring
I hope it was *him*
Whenever i received an sms
I hope it was *him*
A disappointment will be given
If it wasn't *him*
*Him Him Him and Him*
My Mind is just full of *Him*
Now, what does this tell mie again?
Sometime, i wish to know about all these
I wish i can find an answer for all these
But somehow, i choose to escape
I wish to know, but i dare not face it
Friends always asked mie to move on with my life
But i can't...
I think i can [i guess]
But somehow i dun wish to
Dun ask mie why
Cos i dun
Loving Him
I'm Loving Him
This saturday is our 4th months anniversary
It's a special day to mie
Not we had been together
But we had known each other for four months
Time flies...
["Him"] Been my tutor for 4 months
["Him"] Been my friend for 4 months
[Mie] Loving him for 3 months
*Wondering how long can this last*
Duno what happened to "Him"
Called "him" din answer
Missed call "him" din call back
Have no idea what happened to us
Feeling Confused
Feeling Sad
Feeling Disappointed
Feeling Lonely
To: Jessica
Nu er...i read ur blog...why didn't euu call mie last nite?? As in why didn't euu call mie when euu crying and needed someone to be there for euu?? I wasn't sleeping during that time..cos i was crying also..=x you should have call mie..den we will cry together...den we can heart to heart talk...den i can comfort euu.. and who knows euu can help mie sort out my feeling ma...
Well..i understand why euu didn't call mie..cos euu are talking to ur friend..and also becos euu feel that i already got my own problem..tat's why euu dun wanna disturb mie with ur problem...but silly gurl..i told euu before that i will put aside all my problems and my stuff for the time being just to be with euu...need not worry for mama okie?? Marmie will be fine after some time..i guess...
Nu er...miss euu soo much..haish...gonna miss euu badly also..cos the next time we will be seeing each other is on next wednesday...hope i can still be able to see ur happy side...=) Promise mama to be happie okie? anything must call mie k..cos euu promise mie le...i still got that sms euu sent to mie...soo dun say euu didn't...
Aniwae dun forget our appointment tomorrow nite...2am!! No matter wad..i wan euu to call mie and tell mie all ur problems yea? Dun tell mie euu are feeling sad etc...cos it's a nite for us to talk on the phone...=)
To: Geradine
Wah!! siao liao..i finished the orange juice liao..haha!! OMG!! can't belived that i can finished up 1 litre of orange juice within one afternoon..LOL!! But it's nice la..hahaha!! Hey a reply for ur previous message in ur blog...yep i can feel that we are much more closer liao...yep!! this time not only euu and mie..but together with jessica!! whooHooO!! Good rite? Hope our relationship will last forever...will be that close forever..much closer than now...close until no one will be able to break us up..close until no one will be able to replace our position *cheers*
Nu er...i read ur blog...why didn't euu call mie last nite?? As in why didn't euu call mie when euu crying and needed someone to be there for euu?? I wasn't sleeping during that time..cos i was crying also..=x you should have call mie..den we will cry together...den we can heart to heart talk...den i can comfort euu.. and who knows euu can help mie sort out my feeling ma...
Well..i understand why euu didn't call mie..cos euu are talking to ur friend..and also becos euu feel that i already got my own problem..tat's why euu dun wanna disturb mie with ur problem...but silly gurl..i told euu before that i will put aside all my problems and my stuff for the time being just to be with euu...need not worry for mama okie?? Marmie will be fine after some time..i guess...
Nu er...miss euu soo much..haish...gonna miss euu badly also..cos the next time we will be seeing each other is on next wednesday...hope i can still be able to see ur happy side...=) Promise mama to be happie okie? anything must call mie k..cos euu promise mie le...i still got that sms euu sent to mie...soo dun say euu didn't...
Aniwae dun forget our appointment tomorrow nite...2am!! No matter wad..i wan euu to call mie and tell mie all ur problems yea? Dun tell mie euu are feeling sad etc...cos it's a nite for us to talk on the phone...=)
To: Geradine
Wah!! siao liao..i finished the orange juice liao..haha!! OMG!! can't belived that i can finished up 1 litre of orange juice within one afternoon..LOL!! But it's nice la..hahaha!! Hey a reply for ur previous message in ur blog...yep i can feel that we are much more closer liao...yep!! this time not only euu and mie..but together with jessica!! whooHooO!! Good rite? Hope our relationship will last forever...will be that close forever..much closer than now...close until no one will be able to break us up..close until no one will be able to replace our position *cheers*
Aniwae through all the problems we faced...we will be able to realised something...we will be able to noe who are our "true friend" and who are not...true friend will always be there for you..consoling euu...and be ur listening ear...friend who call themself a true friend yet they are doing nothing about it...this is call "fake friend" not true friend. Somehow i think i shuold thank to my problems..cos these problems enable mie to see who are actually my true friend...Glad to say that euu are one of them..Thanks
To: Jessica, Geradine, Bryan, Nick
Thanks for everything...But also sorrie about something...i didn't do what i said..i said i will control myself..but i didn't manage too..i just couldn't stop myself from doing that...cos i miss *him*..i hope euu people won't be angry with mie..won't be disappointed with mie...Hope things will be better after today...i believed this sentence "Time will help to heal"... i promise euu people that for the time being i won't think of that dream..enough is enough... it's time for mie to forcus on my o level...I won't think too much yea? Once again Sorry...
To: Doobie
Remember last nite euu told mie that why can't things go smoothly instead of having problems here and there?? Why are life full of problems and troubles?? I actually think of it after we hang up the phone...well...euu see arhx..if euu can get that type of life that euu wan..dun euu think is meaningless?? Life that is full of challenging is nicer than life that can be easily obtain...Cos euu will find it bored to live in tis world that euu can achieve anything that euu wan. If things always go on soo smoothly..do euu think there will be a word call "cherish and treasure" ?? Nope there won't be any word that is soo meaningful. Only when someone met with problems and troubles...den they will do some reflection...den they will learn their lesson...and won't take things for granted...erm..hope euu are happy about my answer...
Aniwae euu also dun anyhow think okie?? Stop guessing who the "him" referring to liao..hahah!! cos "high hope" = "great disappointment" See i soo good!! euu ask mie type something for euu..den i go type one for euu..dun say i ill treat euu horr!!
Thanks for everything...But also sorrie about something...i didn't do what i said..i said i will control myself..but i didn't manage too..i just couldn't stop myself from doing that...cos i miss *him*..i hope euu people won't be angry with mie..won't be disappointed with mie...Hope things will be better after today...i believed this sentence "Time will help to heal"... i promise euu people that for the time being i won't think of that dream..enough is enough... it's time for mie to forcus on my o level...I won't think too much yea? Once again Sorry...
To: Doobie
Remember last nite euu told mie that why can't things go smoothly instead of having problems here and there?? Why are life full of problems and troubles?? I actually think of it after we hang up the phone...well...euu see arhx..if euu can get that type of life that euu wan..dun euu think is meaningless?? Life that is full of challenging is nicer than life that can be easily obtain...Cos euu will find it bored to live in tis world that euu can achieve anything that euu wan. If things always go on soo smoothly..do euu think there will be a word call "cherish and treasure" ?? Nope there won't be any word that is soo meaningful. Only when someone met with problems and troubles...den they will do some reflection...den they will learn their lesson...and won't take things for granted...erm..hope euu are happy about my answer...
Aniwae euu also dun anyhow think okie?? Stop guessing who the "him" referring to liao..hahah!! cos "high hope" = "great disappointment" See i soo good!! euu ask mie type something for euu..den i go type one for euu..dun say i ill treat euu horr!!