Saturday, July 21, 2007

Special day 1st mth anni

Today is our special day.
Darling and i had been together for 1 mth Le.
My love for him is still there despite of our LDR.
Misses him soo much.

Been feeling down lately...
Super Super Down..
Been thinking a lot...
Hoping to get a better solution..
But there aren't any.

Been thinking about mie and darling.
Think about should i just let him go?
Haish ..i'm soo confused..
I love him..really..
Just that somehow somewhat im no longer able to feel him animore.

I misses him too much.
I'm no longer able to take it anymore.
I got no idea how long can i go on..
It's really hard to explain how i really felt.

yes!
my status is: "In a Relationship"
yet it doesn't seem to be..
it seem more like a friend than a couple.
Cos we can only see each other every half yr later?
Talk on the phone like weeks later?
Sms like once everyday? [global sms too ex]

There are soo much things to resist myself from doing it.
Cos i dun wan to make any wrong move to hurt him.
or cause myself to be unfaithful again.
Yes! i noe he trust mie, i appreciate it.

Bt the fact is no one will noe what's the outcome. [LDR]
When i'm down he can't be by my side,
But my gal and other guy friends.
When i'm happy i can't get to share the joy with him,
But my gal and other guy friends.
When i miss him i can't get to see him?
Under such situation, anything can happen.

No one will really understand how i felt.
Just put mie in your shoe.
When you bf goes away for 1 week
You missed him soo much.
How about mie?
He wil be going away for like 5 mths den come back?
And It gonna continues for the whole of 3 years!

Give up?
I really dun wan...i dun wanna let go of such a nice guy.
and i really love him.
But under such a situation,
How long can i hold on?

Last nite he smsed mie:
Darling do you rmb this day when we kissed and hugged at the towers in sentosa? and we stay overnite at the beach and den u finally agreed to be my gf? And after tonite it will be our 1st mth anniversary le. dun think you will be happy. Cos i'm not with you. Feel soo sorry to leave you alone to go for my studies. Maybe we should consider our relationship. Dun wanna see you suffer. I love you dear.

I was soo touched tat i teared.
He's the first guy who really remember about the event and the date.
yep i remembered everything tat happened during tat day.
Lots of sweet memories...
But now...?

didn't ans his question.
Doesn't know how to.
Dun wanna let him noe how i feel.
cos i doesn't wan him to be sad or worry or even blame himself.

So wad if i say?
Problems will still be there.
Still the state of: "wan to part bt dun bear to"
So i dun see any need to tell him.
It will only hurt the both of us...
Since it gonna be lidat,
might as well i hide it to myself?

Yesterday our lecturer taught us how to wrap a dead body in the hospital...darn it..ppl already soo sad le...now come and teach mie wrap dead body, which remind mie of my grandpa who just passed away 2 mths plus ago? Really miss him very much.

Yesterday end sch at 4pm...but reached home at 7 plus. Went around to look for "after 8" chocolate.. i'm buying it for Jun Jie..cos he say he love eating tat in the past bt didn't eat for very long le [didn't go supermarket]. So i told him i gt sth for him on sat. soo i intend to buy it in school. Unfortuately it was sold out...so i went to my area NTUC, 7 eleven, 2 provision shops and search for it..but non of the shop selling that..so i took a bus to bukit merah NTUC bt sad to say they didn't sell that. So i went to take a bus to tiong bahru NTUC...and den to Great World cold storage...and FINALLY i bought it over there..MY god!! just becos of one chocolate...i'm like searching for soo many places?? [dun mistaken, we are just friends]

Initially wanna buy him some other chocolate since the choco in my sch is sold out already. But my determination keep mie going...cos i noe he will be happy and surprised by it la..aniwae it gave mie a SATISFACTION after i found the item!!

i end this at 10:27 AM with 0 comments

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Special day 1st mth anni

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