Friday, August 24, 2007

Disappointed with JJ...

Gosh..just realised my previous entries which i blog ytd was super LONG!!...
haha..You people out there, if you are those who hate reading, i suggest you not to read my previous entries..it gonna make you pissed off =x

Woke up 10.30am..went to wet market to buy chicken breast meat despite of the raining day and cold weather. Cos i needed tat to cook spag bolognese for Jun Jie. wanted to give up cooking that for his dinner de..but determination too strong liao...soo die die also must go down buy...end up freezing myself under heavy rain =x Then also suan bian help mama to buy nugget =D

oh well..it's been years since i step into the wet market once again =x
Hated wet market..it's just soo stink..!!
ewww *puke*

Marinate the chicken once i reached home. Den put it aside..and get my oven ready..cos i gonna baked both double chocolate cookies and brownie for him =D...i noe i'm mad..=x i'm looking forward for today..really..i just have the heart to do it..and my determination is just there...=x wan blame blame my heart and determination...dun come blame mie. is these 2 tat made mie like this =x

oh well..i screw up for the cookies...=x measure the amt of oil wrongly..in the end it turn up to be darn oily and soggy [for the first round]. see already also scared...soo i dump it away =x waste my money and time only...stupid mie...soo disappointed with myself man...call myself FnN girl? [Food and nutrition] NAH... it's been soo long since i step into the kitchen and cook let alone touching my beloved oven which is stored in the store room for 1 yr plus? =x yea...was kind of sad la..cos i really wish to give him cookies =x

soo by all mean i'm gonna make the 2nd round cookie a successful one...i tried all way to squeese out the oil from the remaining dough, absorp the oil using clean tissue paper...thought i failed again..bt it work man!! finally the 2nd round cookie wasn't soggy...ate 1 piece to see if it's edible a not..if not i'm not going to give it to him...well it wasn't as nice as i thought cos i baked it for quite long. Not tat i dun wanna take note of the time, just tat if i bake the cookie using the duration stated on the box, it will be soggy...cos there are still excess of oil =x So the only way is to make bake it longer...and luckily it din chars =x yea...there comes double chocolate cookies for him...wee...

Den went down again to buy eggs =x cos i realised my mum used up all the eggs in the frige this morning. Dumb mie, din check the fridge before i go down and buy chicken....well came back and prepare the ingredient for brownie..haha!! i learnt my lesson...i measured the amt of oil correctly =x it took about half an hour to bake the brownie...

den i move on to prepared the ingredient for spag bolognese. Boil the sauce and add in slice ham and mix vegetables and garlic into it. Boil the spag and kept it in a box. Then i waited for the time to come, cos wei told mie he booking out at 6pm..soo by the time he reach home shld be 7 plus...thus i fry chicken, heat the sauce again, soap the rinse the spag with hot water..and there comes Spag bolognese for him =D...

yea really wanna thank wei cos he did mie a very big flavour =) he help mie book JJ...so tat he won't meet his friends after he book out since i rejected going dinner with him. He also told JJ lies saying tat he wan to have dinner with him..cos i'm afraid tat he might buy food home after he book out...den yea...my food will be wasted =x cos what i wan is to go his house and surprised him and pass him the food tat i had prepared for him.

oohh well hope it's nice la..cos these 3 thingy is my first attempt =x didn't make spag for myself, didn't make cookies for myself...bt i do have remaining brownie...which i gonna let my family eat =)

In the first place, just gonan say that i make all these if not becos i wanna eat it or wad..just tat i gt the heart to make it for him. i wan to see him happy..tat's it..i guess? Have to admit tat this is my first time cooking/baking for someone...yea in the past i do bake cookie for my ex...bt at tat pt is i wan to bake it for him and mie...yes i did bake cookie for calvin...but tat is becos i happened to bake cookie for my juniors, and since there is excess, i gave him...As for JJ, i totally do it just for him and no one else...not even for mie. =/

well i spend quite alot for all these=x ytd went to shop for grocery it cost mie abt $21...then today cost mie about $3...=x nah it doens't matter la.. from now on must save up liao..going broke again..haish..i badly need to work man...heh!! working tmr and sun..=) can earn about 140plus? ahhh i'm desparate for money to enter my pocket =D but darn sian...working with semore sia..sure kana pester by him =.='' tat guy always love Poking, tickle mie de lo...kao...

aniwae guess wad? at 4.30pm..cheryl told mie i'm suppose to work for 5pm function..i totally went stun!! cos i rmb when i book tat time wilson told mie fri is fully book soo i'm not working...den suddenly my name is down..wth? actually i dun mind going though it's pretty late to received tat news...but the problem is how abt the surprises tat i had planned for him if i go and work? In the end i turned it down...cheryl will help mie explain to the captain...cos this time round is not my fault..hopefully i won't get any scolding from the manager who is incharge of tonite function tmr. x_x

Blogging time: 4.30pm

I'm sad I'm disappointed!! MY planned failed...Didn't get to surprised him at all. why didn't he listen to "wei" [a guy tat i cahoot with] to stay at home? why must he make last min plan? When he told mie he meeting his friends at 8pm, i get nervous, cos i'm already at bukit merah interchange waiting for bus to go his house. i was praying hard tat he dun leave house soo early. i was really really praying hard..which made mie get distracted and got down the bus 1 stop earlier. By the time i reached his house which is 7.45pm, he already in bus..on the way to meet his other friend.

My heart sank...really sank...really wish to give him a surprised. In the end...? everything had gone to waste...wad can i do? ask him come back to take what i wanna give him? No way!! what i can do is just to leave the food outside his door step and smsed him and go back home.

While walking to GWC bus stop, i just teared suddenly...i duno why i teared. what i noe is i'm feeling terrible. it took mie abt 15 mins to walk to the bus stop. i noe the way i walk is darn EMO...bt i dun care..!! When i reached the bus stop, didn't feel like taking bus...didn't feel like goin home soo early. Just wanted to go somwhere, yet there is no where to go...

I had lost my direction
I got no where to go.
No idea where shld i head to
what i noe is i wanna walk,
just keep on walking....
Non stop.

20 Minutes later, i realised im still at his house estate =.='' was walking one big round...den decided to walk all the way to tiong bahru to take a bus home from there.... but still..i did not stop...just kept walking and thinking a lot of things. Was thinking about calvin, the afford tat i took to take a long journey bus to bishan just to deliver him his christmas gift, also to surprise him and making use of the chance to see him since i soo long didn't see him le...Same situation, he left his house 10 mins before my arrival...In the end his mum haf to help mie passed him e gift.

I'm soo irritated with myself!
why do i come out with plans to surprised someone?
In the end...
get disappointed and sad by the result.
why is it always soo hard to surprised someone be it a girl or boy?

I hate myself..
i really do..
why is my determination soo strong?
It's not good to have a strong deternmination..

Strong determination=High Hope=Looking Forward=Disappointed!!

I had been looking forward for this day since last week.
Wanted to see his surprised face...
really wish to surprised him.
He say he miss mie,
I told him he won't miss mie for long and asked him to believed in mie.
Why do i say that?
Cos im gonna make a trip to his house.
and i noe i had failed to do that.
I'm sorry

woke up soo early,
spending my whole morning and afternoon to prepared,
skipped both my meals.
Cos i dun haf the time to eat.
and if i were to take my dinner,
his dinner will turned cold.

and now everything,
my plan,
my afford,
had gone to waste..
how can i not be disappointed and sad?

As i walked, i think, as i think i realised i walked pass Gan Eng Seng secondary. Determination just kept mie walking without failed...reached my house estate at around 10.05pm...den decided to run home...yea i was runny with a slipper...how retarded...Bt Running is the only way to throw all my unhappiness aside.

went to take a bath after that.
Received an smsed from him saying tat he will be waiting for mie at my house downstair.
But i didn't show up,
didn't wan to meet him..
Didn't even feel like replying or answerin his call
Think is ptless la..
So what if we met?
Both of us will be quiet...
I'm sorry that i didn't shown up...

Blogging time: 11pm

i end this at 12:35 AM with 0 comments

Friday, August 24, 2007

Disappointed with JJ...

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