AhhHHH~ Felt soo weird lately, Felt that: i had lost my sense, I had lost my Thought, I had lost my Feelin, I'm feelin very confused... RITE NOW...
As i walk down the road, I get to see many dif type of people. At different point, different time, things changed There is no such word call "always"
Cldn't stop thinking abt us. had we drifted? Had no idea why i felt tat way. Perhaps is the time we had for each other is gettin lesser? Maybe yes, Maybe no? I duno...
Is my love for him really true? Will i ever love him forever? Will i ever get soft hearted cos of the other guy? I had no idea...
Am i loving him more than he love mie? I think i am... Actions told mie everything... Bt how much can i rely on it?
I wish i cld love him even more. But 2 words came in between us... DARE NOT... These words had stop mie from carrying on.
Is he truely love mie? or was he toyin my feelin juz becos he needed someone? Is there other reason why he love mie? Is there other reason tat he is hiding from mie?
I know all the answer, but i doesn't wan to trust it. I doesn't wan to give myself too much confidence. I doesn't wan it to become like mie and adrian.
The past relationship was really bad. Though i had forgiven him for everything But the things tat he had done, will never be forgotten. I had learnt my lesson... There is no such word call "forever"
It's foolish and stupid to think tat he will be the only one tat i love... he will be my first and last guy in life. It's all bull shit and it will never be true.
People get divorce after they gt married. Couple broke up after they gt together. No matter how close they are, things will changed in time. Perhaps i'm really afraid of commiting into a new relationship? or maybe he haven made mie feel tat he's the guy?
"Forever" had extinct in my dictionary since tat day. i dun blame him for certain reasons for causin mie being unfaithful. Neither did i regreted being wif him.
ahh i'm thinking too much... rahhHHSss...
Felt my life is soo screw up. I had just lost my way in love and i think i'm gonna lost my ownself too...
really feel like changin myself, changing my style of dressin changing my image changing from good to bad changing my positive attitude to negative. change my sex. really wish to change to someone tat no one will noe mie.
-I'm sux-
Today is my last day of work in mandarin. Cos i guess i'm gonna spend my weekend wif JJ ba. Captain asked mie to come back work for her on this coming sat cos she gt not nough staff. Didn't give her my ans... really dun wanna go de..but really dun wanna reject her..she soo nice, somemore still ask mie...if reject her wifout consideration, is like too heartless =x See how things goes ba... at this moment of time,dun really feel like having much contact with him. =s
today end work at 6pm. cos there isn't any nite functon. initially wanna buy porriage for him to eat de. thought i cld visit him and see how is he. bt since he say he going out wif his friend...den forget abt it ba though i really miss him. like wad i said friend are equally impt =)
10 October 2007 [Wednesday] Started work from 11am till 11.30pm...darn shag. afternoon had function till 3pm...and we only had 3 hrs to turn over? like 70 plus tables to be set up? and the staff is like soo little? only 8 of us? like wad the hack? bo Bian nor...have to speed and do multi tasking...den only had my dinner at 7 plus?
Den nite time nt enough staff. as a result 1 staff is to 2 normal table. cos there are 14 VIP tables and 1 staff is required to serve one VIP table as table service/portioning is required :S it's my first time doing table service for every single dish cos i'm serving VIP table :S and lin xiang ping dad was sitting on my table :S
haish initially gt more than enough staff one...the china people all like go on riot like tat...all refused to work for this event. cos its a function of taipei national day celebration. soo yep...one of the girl spoke out and even voice out everything rite in front of all the managers....and the whole gang all just take their bag and walked off during briefing time...yep rite infront of the managers...i was pretty proud of them bt i was stun..cos 3/4 of the staff are from china..if they leave, we will die =s bt thanks god...it's still manageable la...just tat service abit slow..cos gt 10 local staff first attempt on table =x