3 September 2007 [ Monday] Reached home around 4 plus after my attachment. Still feeling nausea whenever i think of what i had seen today...[blood and stools] goshh...it was flooding on the diaper man...the patient butt and pubic area is fully soak with it...and it eventually leak out of the diaper and stain the bed..the smell was horrible...was controlling badly when bed sponging his body [top]....told myself if i can pass this, nothing gonna be tough for mie. During that period i still thot he having diahhrea...but when i open up the diaper..i shocked mie..and i almost vomitted..the smell is soo strong soo stink..it's the worse smell tat i ever breath in...i cldn't open the window cos the patient is cold so there isn't much air circulation. Moreover, it's my first time seeing such cases and witness it with my 2 eyes and smelling it with my own nose... since then i was feeling quite uncomfortable, and i tend to be over sensitive whenever i smell faeces...even when there i sno one passing motion, im still able to smell it...it's just my thinking.. and i had no appetite to eat anything..so i end up eating salad for my lunch...but well i noe i got to get used to all this..
then there are 3 doctors trying to save him cos his blood pressure is decreasing and he losing alot of blood. During tat pt i really worried for him la..
i must and i will !!! Just give mie sometime and everything will be fine I can do it...!!
Reach home, took a bath and take a rest while waiting for the time to meet up with Jun Jie. In the end he doesn't wan to meet up cos he wam mie to rest at home...haha we still met up la..take a mini tour around my hse estate...den went to darling block dwstair to sit sit [playground]...
Play catching with him cos i took his slipper away. LOL.. den made him round 14 rounds around the playground cos his running test coming soon..soo must train him nia..=x ok la the nite spend with him for this nite is rather special..LOL..cos usually we just sit there tok, sit down see scenery, go makan, go walk walk...and this is our first time playing..soo it's kind of special and yep had lots of fun too =) he's just soo funny lah...
really wanna thanks him for everything he had done to make mie cheer up. was feeling rather down in teh afternoon but after meeting him i'm alrite le. well why was i feeling down? This tiem round is not bcos of relationship...but is my relationship with my patients...had been taking care of them abt a week thus there is bonding between us. soo i was rather worried for 2 of my patients who suddenly have high fever...especially one of the patient, i dote on him alot..he's soo cute...then one of my another patient got back his lab report and he actually got cancer. felt darn sorry for him...haish...
duno why today soo many things happened to my patients...felt quite sorry and sad for them. at the same time i was afraid too...Today is my four days working in teh ward...saw alot of different cases from different patients, i noe there are more to come and mroe for mie to see...i noe as a nurse i can't be too emotional. But after what i had seen today, i just feel that life is really darn fragile. A person mayb very healthy and strong in the morning...but at the same time he/she can be weak or in danger at nite. No one can predict what will happen in the next min. i noe this is part of life. But I'm really afraid of all these..i really do...i'm afraid of seein my friends, family to go thru all this suffering etc...i wish they cld stay healthy and active forever. i wish all my patients cld recover as soon as possible.
Gosh guess who i saw? i saw darling and her mum!! ohh miss her soo much la..run to her and gave her a hug man!! heh!! and also a goodbye kiss..=D
2 September 2007 [Sunday] Went to bukit merah HAN'S with JJ for lunch. The food there is indeed very nice. The quality of the food is still there. =) oohhh i miss having lunch there with my frog clique nia.. xD yep as usual he waited for mie outside my blk, and ya i was kind of shocked when he suddenly appeared infront of mie at the bus stop. Cos i walked pass him without knowing it=x soo i only see him at the bus stop. yep how blur can i be..=.='' HAHA!! i ordered black pepper chicken chop set meal while he order fish and chip set meal..it was supper filling man...heh!! the black pepper chicken chop is darn nice man...fed him 2 time..haha let him try =)
After lunch he sent mie home...but i sent him to another bus stop cos he intend to go meet his friend before meeting mie for dinner =x yea i noe it sound very lame..cos i wana watch my "paris lover" la..last sunday already miss 2 episode liao..dun wanna miss le ma..and geuss wad? it was showing campus superstar repeat =.=''
Went to his area and pei him take bus to bugis junction. Cos i got concession ma. haish..blur mie..took bus 123 in bukit merah instead of tiong ...=.=''in the end travel till queensway then feel sth is wrong...smsed him and get to noe tat i shldn't be taking the bus in bukit merah =.='' Basically the whole day i was super blur, and wadever i say i ask doesn't make sense..and wad worse is i went crazy la..=x den keep laughing non stop =x ya he laughed at mie whenever i said sth which prove mie blur..ahhhh!!
After dinner, went to vivo to view scenery. haha!! and that's my first time pinching his cheek cos he laughed at mie. ahhh!! irritating >.<'' Left vivo at around 11.10pm...once again he sene mie home and he missed his last bus cos of mie again=.='' soo he walked to henderson there and thanks god bus 16 was stil functioning...soo he need not walk to GWC...
btw CL and mie Broke up on this day le..he willing to let go of the relatonship..cos we kind of sorted everything out..so now we are just friends. Finally it's settle, i doesn't have to think anymore.
1st september 2007 [Saturday] Work up at 5am after sleeping for 3 hrs. Cos i have to report to NP bus main gate by 7.15am..yep promised adora to go for red cross camp..and i fulfilled it =) somehow i was relunctant to go cos i was rather tired after e whole week of attachment but i still turn up la...it gonna be my first event in red cross. and i understand tat camp is the only event tat can allow mie to noe more friends and get to noe them more.
and guessed wad? i was selected to be a group leader of grp 16...zzz...well it's my first time being a group leader in camp..and gosh..it's not easily to be a leader. A leader must really have lot sof potential soo that idea can be given to the group...yep i admit i'm not potential la..tat's why it's quite hard to keep the ball rolling. and ya...it happened tat my group members are soo ....... reallie duno what to say...they are not potential too =x then everything i suggest they just anithin anithin yet no idea and creativity to go with my suggestion. and whenever we decided a plan, 2 gals sure come to mie out of the blue and tel mie they dun wan do this, they dun wan do tat. well as a leader i have to be fair to everyone so tat everyone will be more cooperative. i dun blame them cos everyone has their own weakness...but i would really appreciate if they can give in abit..cos like as if i wanna do also..? soo i have no choie but to ask for a group discussion again. =.='' And i can't say why i need to reconsider our previous plan. Basically i was abit stress up la..actually my group cooperate with one another when a plan is made..is just tat 2 gals which really gave mie lots of headache =x aniwae, yea really wish to thank danial...he help mie alot..and some good suggestion too...
aniwae i didn't stay overnite. the camp was kind of bored..went home after campfire...and heng la..lucky din intend to go back after nite walk man..cos the nite walk end at 1am!! siao one lo..duration soo long...morning wake up soo early, den 1am end...den still must wait for our turn to bath...crazy one nia...
aniwae i got to noe friends from other school red cross =)