Thursday, March 22, 2007

Cheryl went to drink again

Why is cheryl like this?
Why she love to get herself drunk?
Why is she breaking her promise?
What must we do to stop her from drinkin?
Why can't she listen to us?

Must she really get into trouble
den she will learn her lesson?
n Den she will stop drinking?

That time she went drinkin,
and she got herself drunk...
Last saturday, she went again
and she got herself drunk...

perhaps i should blame myself for not listening to suzanna.
she asked mie to scold her
and threaten her using her dad..
she asked mie to stop her from going...

yep im being a kind soul
to let her drink for one last time...
didnt wan to scold her and make her feel even hurt...
dun wan her to pai seh her friends last min...

And now..
what happened?

Sheena told mie cheryl went drinking with them on tuesday..
what did cheryl promised suzanna?
she said she won't drink anymore...
she said she dun like the feeling of being drunk...
she said she noe if she's going to be drunk...
and yet??
she get herself drunk on tuesday...

and the worse thing is...
she lied to sheena, saying tat we will allow her to drink..
this is soo not true!!
cos we dun wan her to make it a habit

Must she really push us
to the extend tat we must threaten her using her dad?
We are not being busybody or what..
who care about if she go drink or not...
but the fact is she DOESN'T know how to take care of herself...
tat's why we are so worried for her.
Tat's why we care soo much...

i seriously dun wish to threaten her using her dad...
i'm afraid she won't tell us anything
when she got problems in future..

Should we threaten her?
Or should we leave her alone?
Like what semore said...
"he had gave up on her"...

Guess what?
During work she drink
&
Now she in esplanade...
the time now is 4am...
she's with thomas...
doing what??
DRINKING!!

sometime i really wish to give up on her
but can i do tat?
she's my darling..
how can i leave her alone?

But think again,
soo what if i care for her?
does she bother?
does she listen?
The answer is NOPE..

whatever we say...
it won't get into her brain...

she doesn't know how to love herself
she doesn't know how to take care of herself...
what she noe is drink...drink and drink...

Went to esplanade last nite..as usual bought vodka and drink...hmm..this time i din buy any breezer..haha!! wanna try other type of drink..Wanna thanks doobie for accompany mie the whole nite yesterday...wanna thanks him for cheering mie up...ooohh well and also thanks for letting mie to bite euu...ehh 1st time is really wan to bite euu...the other four times is being force by euu...didn't realy use much strength cos i can feel the pain in my heart as u noe euu are someone special to mie..LOL...poor boi..being bite by mie..aniwae nice biting euu x= aniwae wanna thank him for being by my side when i was crying...gosh this is my first time crying infront of him...i just couldn't control my tears whenever we talked about it...he had finally seen the sad side of mie..is tat a good thing or a bad thing? LOL...it doesn't matter anyway..cos he's someone special to mie...

aniwae euu guys will never believed tat mie and him sang song yesterday..LOL..but honestly speaking..tat's my first time singing with him [lyrics]...and should i say he's my first friend who heard mie sing? cos i dun sing de..unless i'm down..wanna record it de...but this pig say next time den record..cos he wanna practice until perfect..LOL..i made sure he meant what he said..LOL...

i end this at 12:22 PM with 0 comments

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Let Go Of Calvin

Can feel tat he's avoiding mie again
Duno why is he doing this...
Never mind...
I get used to it ler...

Soon...
It's Over...

We was chatting in msn last nite..
Enjoyed chatting with him...
He's not avoiding mie again...
and tis was what happened.....

Chat...
............Chat
.......................& CHAT

The whole nite i was chatting with him...
yep i'm happy...
tat's pretty obvious...
cos very long din chat with him until like tat...

Do him a favour...
and tat is create a new blog for him...
Put in lots of effect into it..
Searching for nice blogskin
But failed!!
It's alrite...it doesn't matter
cos helping him to create a new blog
was what he requested..
i know he won't mind if the blog is plain..

Went to sleep at 3am plus...

Morning...

He sent mie an sms regarding his blog...
He thanks mie...
He gave comment...
etc...

From there...
we smsed each other...
we smsed alot...

I was very happy
I love it to be this way...
Just an sms from him made mie feel
...soo High
.......soo Excited

My love for him hasn't change at all...
Not even a single bit..
I swear...

& Soon...

We talked about us...

& Very Soon.

i teared again...

Nope...
He didn't bully mie..
He didn't say anything tat hurt mie...
Is just tat...
i had came up with a conclusion
about what he said...

"There are somethings

i will never change for her or anyone.

it will be going against my nature.

Just as i do not want you

to change for mie & suffer".

My conclusion is...

No matter how much i love him

No matter how long i keep the feeling i had for him

No matter how much i wait for him

No matter how badly i wanna be with him

It won't happen...

IT WON'T HAPPEN!!

And it JUST SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE

for us to be together

even if he still have feeling for mie!!

im sad

I'm heartbroken

I'm disappointed

I'm lost...

what should i do?

why do i love him soo much?

why is he such a good guy?

why why why?!?!

I feel like killing moiself...

8 months!!

8 MONTHS

I have feeling for him for 8 Months!!

4 Months

4 MONTHS..

We didn't meet for 4 months le..

yet i can't even forget about him...

yet i still love him soo much...

and i'm soo wrong about myself...

i thought i could forget him through working

But i'm soo wrong...

It doesn't help mie at all...

it onli help mie think less

I wanna scream it out loud

AhHHHHH!!!

Both geradine & jessica darling

asked mie to forget him..

asked mie to let him go.....

and just remain as friend...

yes i do feel disappointed over what they said

they made mie feel even worse than before..

they made mie cry even more...

i dun blame them

cos i noe they care for mie

they dun wanna see mie getting hurt again

BUT

i dun wan

i really dun wan >.<''

i dun wanna let him go...

i tried to let him go before

but i always failed to do tat...

End up..

i hurt myself even more..

But no matter what...

after april...

i will let him go...

i will try my best to forget him

dun wanna disappoint my darling geradine

dun wanna break moi promise...

they had a point...

no point hanging onto it

and get myself hurt etc...

time will heal

as long as i tried my best

i end this at 10:21 AM with 0 comments

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Training for mama doob and leonard

woke up at 1.30pm...yep sound like a pig ehh?? bo bian..cos the previous nite i only slept for 4 hours before i went back to work..haha!! yep didn't went home to sleep...tis is my first time sleeping outside [ehh not including chalet]...haish..is a long story why i didn't went home after my ot at 2.30am...i went to family KTV just outside mandarin hotel...haha!! not for drinking not for singing...but to take care of my darling cheryl..yep went there striaght after knowing tat she was drunk and tat bastard was there. ermm there are other people there taking care of her...but mie and desmond are just worried for her la...cos tat bastard was there...if the bastard not there..i will just go over see she alrite a not..den until i feel tat she is alrite den i will go home and sleep..cos i'm working 11am the next day.

But thank god i went over to see her...cos tat bastard was soo called "taking care of her" and he was hugging her...i can tell tat she feel uneasy...but she got no strength to push him away... yep immediately i went to her...and we both hugged...got to admit tat i had never hug a girl soo tightly =x not i'm sick or what...is just tat the moment i saw her, it hurt mie a lot...she was soo drunk...she was soo upset..soo heartbroken tat i could feel it...and she was crying soo badly when we hugged each other...had a hard time stopping her from cryin...consoling her and taking care of her the whole nite...seeing her like this, even if i go home i won't be able to fall asleep...and i noe i can't go home..cos tat bastard was there...and cheryl asked mie not to let him touch her...

haish...duno what to say about her..this gal just simply love drinking...just simply duno how to take care of herself...and duno how to love herself..Teach her, tell her...yet nothing goes into ur head..when someone care too much for her...she will dislike tat person. cos she can't do what she wanna do..eg drinking. Sometime mie and suzanna just wanna give up on her...bt we just bu ren xin to do tat to her...she's just like our small sister...we dun wan her to get into trouble etc...haish..hopefully due to tat incident, she had learnt her lesson. and hopefully she will love herself and stop doing 2pid things.

As For bryan and jessica issue...i dun wanna care anymore...what i wanna tell jess is tat...think twice..if euu really no feeling for him le...den let him go...if euu do haf feeling for him do treasure him...he's a very nice guy...treat him better...sometime euu just have to sacrifice some of ur time for him. i can just ignore about what euu told bryan when he smsed euu. but i seriously hope tat euu can think properly. cos marmie realli dun wan euu to regret. also dun wanna see euu repeating the same cycle. Good luck gal...=)

As for geradine and Jeff issue...darling, i just wan to let euu noe tat...do let jeff noe what euu wanna do or who euu gonna meet. yep i noe is not tat necessary to report to him everything. cos it's ur freedom to do what euu wan, to meet who euu wanna meet. but since euu can tell mie tat euu intend to tell jeff tat euu will be going out with adrian...only when euu had decided to meet him...soo euu might as well tell him in advance? or even tell him euu thinking of meeting him for etc...even though euu haven make up ur mind. is like what's the different to tell him in advance and telling him after euu had make up ur mind? not as if euu are doing something bad behind him ma..rite? only this way, misunderstanding can be avoided yea? furthermore euu soo forgetful..later euu forget to tell..and he get to noe about it..he will feel tat euu hide something from him etc...kie guys are always like tat..=x But if he not allow euu to meet him or what...talk things out with him yea?

For doobie and clar issue, i hope euu had get it over le..and i think euu are feeling much better now...=) well since the two of euu can't be couple, at least euu guys can be friend rite? sometime being a friend is soo much better than being a couple..haha!! cos we hardly quarrel with friends. And sometime being single is not totally a bad thing..yep euu may feel lonely at time..but one things good about it is euu are free from everything..hahha!! euu dun have to report...euu dun have to think soo much when euu wanna do something/go out with someone. euu just dun haf the need to care about tat person feeling. Moreover euu and clar are soo different...one like nature..and one dislike nature...there are so little things tat euu 2 can do together...just let it go ba...just take a break for the time being..i believed euu will be able to get another nice gal like clar =)

aniwae i'm soo darn happy..haha!! today i brought doobie, mama and leonard for training..hehe!! they gonna work in mandarin hotel..wee!! can't wait for this day wor...xD...cos no matter how many time i see mama and doobie..i just simply miss them soo much la...ermm tat's from the bottom of my heart...

But one thing i'm sad about is Marc won't be working in mandarin anymore...cos he got attachment ...fri and sun [past] was his last 2 days working in mandarin...becos of him i wanna switch function room with other people...i wanna work with him soo much..at least work with him and see him for the very last time before he really go off?? but i didn't get the chance to...yes i managed to find one who is willing to change with mie [without telling them the real reason...cos if i do..there will be a rumour saying i fall for marc]..but end up i was kicked back by the captain...zzz...i noe i sound as if i fall for him...but i think i'm not...cos i dun miss him...and i do have feeling for the other him. Reason why i wanna see him is he somehow resemble the other him...he's soo gentle...and i'm simply love his smile..it;s soo darn sweet la..the only thing tat is soo different from him is marc always scold vagarities [tat's what he told mie]...but erm..soo far i didn't heard any vagarities from him...haha!! and he doesn't look as if he noe how to scold. he just simply look soo innocent, guai and gentle.

After their training..i went to meet suzanna, her friend and desmond in marina bay..haha!! realli wanna thank desmond for accompanying mie to go have dinner with suzanna friend's family =x if not i will feel soo left out and soo extra la...haha!! cos suzanna said it's not nice to reject people when they invite mie to go dinner with them..=.='' yep we had dinner in a restaurant...called long beach in marina bay..haha!! the food there are soo fantastic man..it was soo delicious beside the mashed taro...haha mandarin mashed taro is soo much nicer =P...it's my 1st time eating at long beach..haha!! After dinnerm we went to the park etc...den went to arcade to play before we catch our last bus and last train..=x

Now i gotta sleep..gotta wake up kinda early. cos i will be going for body checkup which include blood test, xray etc...for the course tat i had entered.=.=''

i end this at 10:19 AM with 0 comments

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Cheryl went to drink again

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Let Go Of Calvin

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Training for mama doob and leonard

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