I was being brought up in a family,
whereby i doesn't have my own freedom.
Things got better after i graduate from sec school
whereby i cld go out with my fren
without parent consent.
It simply shows that my bdae would be celebrated at home
every year
by my beloved family.
I was hoping that this year
would be a special year
whereby im able to do it with someone i love
and spending my time with him
and making it the most memorable bdae
But what i get was disappointment.
When both the hourly & mins hand strike 12,
I thought he will be the 1st to wish mie
But never did i expect that
he was the 9th person who wished mie in the morning
cos he had fallen aslp.
I noe its just a small issue
but it simply show no effort was put in
to make himself stay awake.
Darling,
was staying up late despite of her headache!
I was pretty upset about it
but didn't voice it out.
When he met up with mie,
i was expecting something from him
perhaps a mini surprise
which can perk mie up?
Im nt askin for a return
like what i had given him on his bdae.
Perhaps a small hug
and a bdae wishes for mie
through his mouth and all tat?
cld really perk mie up.
Basically the whole day,i was hoping sth from him
be it a mini surprise?
be it a mini gift?
be it a wishes through his mouth?
wad i can say is
there is really nth.
It was Just a normal day doing things
tat we had always been doin.
and then
i send him back to camp.
Becos of all these,
i had been thinking alot.
Things tat im unhappy about him
and things tat im trying hard to accept who he is:
for being quiet with my fren
for being insensitive
for being unsweet
for being no life
for not being able to express himself
Im tired of guessing what he wan
Im tired of telling him how i felt
Im tired of expecting more from him
Im tired of everything
and i chose to let go of him.
No pt being together when i feel that all these
are going to continue.
But still i reconcile with him cos i love him
and i doesn't wan to see him sad
wad i can say is
he had blew away his chance
of me accepting him.
why must you ruin up everything
just when i was to accept you?
wad i can say is
is all too late for everything.
Things won't be the same as last time
anymore.
I can be very sweet
I can be very understanding and thoughtful
and giving many sacrifices
for a guy.
But once he really broke my heart
and hurt mie
too deeply.
and
made mie cried my heart out,
made mie cryin to sleep,
going school with a swollen eyes
tears whenever i think of it
be in while walkin home
or in bus.
Nothing can get back the same.
I wont be able to do so much things for him
I wont be able to be like last time
I nt motivated to do anything.
As long as it's concerning abt him,
i will think twice.
yep, indeed i had a terrible
and memorable bdae.
Thanks alot for making such a day
No pt feeling guilty
and felt remorseful upon seeing how justin
celebrated darling bdae.
yep,somehow im jealous of darling
cos justin had make her day a memorable one.
but wad i can say is,
we are 2 different ppl.
Dun compared.
cos i had given up
almost everything.
which include my expectation from you
and guess wad?
just when i was feeling down.
my dearest, S was down too
and i have to meet her
and counsel her
cos at any time of pt
she might do sth stupid.
[based on her smses]