Friday, August 15, 2008
DIET
sighhhIm getting fatter,
gonna look like a fat stick with no curve
*S.C.R.E.A.M*
Ask Jaren to control my diet.
New Policy created
NO MAC
NO FAST FOOD
NO RESTAURANT
NO NACHOS FOR A MTH
NO OILY FOOD
Buy 1 share of food & we share
Eat salad, fruits for meal
Policy terminate till we both LOSES weight
omg,
for the sake of my nachos,
i shall go for running after exam.
Promote weight lost earlier den can eat my NACHOS!
sighhhh
HELP HELP!?!?!
NACHOS, I MISS YOU
was hungry at 3am plus.
tat PIG, ask me go slp den wont feel hungry
OMG...
he sooo ruthless >.<
Meeting him at library to study tml x)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Exam Coming
Sad Sad Sad,suppose to wake up early & head to jaren's hse to study.
Woke up late, and reached his hse at 1pm plus...
Fetched me from tamp interchange,
bla blaaa ...
Gave him 5 heart arising =x
[Boi, you nOe wad's tat]
& bla bla bla,
had a heart to heart talk.
talking abt the past etc ...
[Ger & Ping Noe wad i meant]
Highly confidential =x
revised back my notes at 5 plus
while watching tv
had dinner @ his hse.
cool, i ate 1 cockles =x
well well, doesnt taste as bad as i think it was
still, i prefer the marina bay cockles x)
aww~~ missing those steamboat with zane and des x)
Hasnt been contacting them
One busy with cheerleading,
One busy with r/s
One busy with army
Once again, i was touched by his action
Thanks boi, for keeping me warm in ur arm.
Bus 10 was extremely cold today
You wore sleeveless, & i was with my cardigan
still, you hug me to sleep under ur jacket to give me warm,
and you, silly you,
freezing without telling me the truth.
Appreciate every single stuff you did for me.
was feeling much beta after i woke up.
Looking forward to see you tml,
we gota head to the same direction.
Me to school for exam;
You to maju camp for career talks.
& den we gota head down to ur sis school to take report book.
sigh sigh~
exam is tml
dying dying ...
*S.C.R.E.A.M*
ohhh~
exam remind me of Jun Jie
-_- he once deliver me with a box of donuts in aug 07
Alrite,
doobie sent me an random sms today.
"As a guy, im touched by what jaren has done for you.
im not rushing you to be with him.
just telling you that he's an ideal catch"
Justin commented abt jaren ytd
which made himself shy abt sayin it -_-''
Jessica;
Im glad tat you came to realised the fact. Im glad tat you noe it deep down ur heart tat till now you cant forget the mistake tat i had done. yesshhh i noe.. im in the wrong. bt i wasnt doing it on purpose. both you and "her" was my close fren. and i doesnt wan to see "her" backstabbed by tat bitch. im sure if you were put in such situation, you would warn "her" too. perhaps nt as stupid as me, to mention the name -_- wadever it is, i noe is ptless to sae animore. nth gonna change the fact tat i actually told "her" abt it. i noe i broke ur trust. and i truely understand the pain of someone close to you broke ur trust.
I have no comment abt what you said in ur blog. wad i can say is, i will respect ur decision tat suit you best. like wad i say, as time goes, im kind of used to it. deep down my heart, i knew is impossible between us, unless miracle happened. If you think, ending this r/s of ours is worthy just becos of such minor issue, den go ahead baa. So long as you are happy and comfortable with it. As you noe, i always wanted you to be happy. If not, i wouldnt even haf opened up ur heart in yr 2004. i noe i had let you down. and i felt bad abt it. cos i noe how much i meant to you. i noe how much you confide in me and not others. and i noe im the only person tat you trust. and becos of my wrongdoing, i shattered everything. i hope it wasnt me too. but, nothing cld change the fact.
If im you, ending such a r/s, wasnt worthy. You knew how much i had done juz to there for you. i could sarifice my 2 NIte sleep just to counsel you. i could sacrifice my slp just to chat on the phone with you [when you needed me]. and just becos of such issue, and we severe the ties, is seriously nt worth it laa. but like wad i say, if it make you feel comfortable and happy with it, im seriously alrite with it. I dun deny i wasnt hurt when i read ur tag replied. but still... i believed the hurt wasnt as deep as the hurt tat i had brought to you.
Im sorry & all the best =)
You; Cant Live
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Fear
Last Nite,went over ger hse with ping to surprised her
Bought dinner there to share.
Gave ger her fav choc to perk her up!
Cheesecake
Black Pepper Chicken
Chocs for MeExam coming =x
Darling Ger;
Thanks for telling us your problem. really appreciate ur courage to share with us. wad i can say, i had gone thru all that. and time heal. Right nw, suggestion had been given to you, see which suit you beta and see for urself. wad i can say is, once trust is broken, its hard to gain back. wait till he changed den see whether to patch baaa.. Actions always speaks louder than words. No point keep saying "will change" and yet nth is done. he's smart btw. by not doing mistake of the same issue yet many differnt type. No comment. well well, like wad i say, THE ONE WE LOVE, ALWAYS HURT US THE MOST. till nw, im still afraid of loving one to the fullest. i once read an article elsewhere saying, when a guy commit a mistake and ask for forgiven, give it to them. when they make mistake the 2nd time and ask for forgiven, dun bother. i guess i had did the right thing on JJ baaa... i had given him 4 chances. time and time again, he choose to lie, time and time again, he choose nt to put in effort to quit. Time and time again, treating me like a fool, hurt me, lie to me etc... i shall not futher entertain such guy.
Darling Ger & Ping
darling just wanna let you noe, you will never be left alone alritee? dun worry on tat. you can trust us. we are bestie. never will we leave you alone. even when the sky gonna fall on you, we would support you, even when the flood comes, we would run with you. we 3 gonna be together always, never will we split. we may quarrel, bt each time we quarrel, we understand each other more. i choose to be striaght forward with one another cos we meant them good. even if the words gonna be hurtful, i believed its worthy. friends who sweet talk & doesnt care abt anything abt you, are baddies. friends who are frank & always there for you, meant you well. x)
Im feeling freaking hurt.
I dun blame Justin Nor Ger
But it just remind me of my past with him.
still, IM FEAR.
Im too fear to love jaren to max
Problems lies on me.
I cant bring my fear out.
Im deeply hurt by my past.
Im sick & tired of guys saying
"Human make mistake, they learn from there"
What i got to say is;
Mistakes can be prevented too.
Im sick & tired of guys saying
"I will changed to save the r/s"
What i can say is;
you dun cherish me during our r/s
tats why you didnt bother to make an effort
till things came to the end.
sometime, its too late.
Gals, are human,
they are weak in natured.
must guys always hurt them
& when things came to the worse,
they start to cherish and make amend?
its too late;
We dun give free chances
You odd to earn it back urself
& it depend on ur performance.
but sometimes;
it doesnt work up.
Jaren;
i noe you had been trying hard
Im sorry abt it.
I noe you cherish me
i feel it.
I noe you wont treat me like ur ex
you had proven me.
is the fear tat kept me in the dark world.
i dun blame you.
i noe i wont be left alone
cos i noe i hav you
You've been glowing inside my heart
I LOVE YOU, boi
i just need time to get out of the place
i promised; i would try to get my fear out.
For you; I try
x)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Funeral
Attended 3 Days 2 Night funeral.Im totally EXHAUSTED.
Jaren too...
Wishing i could K.O on the spot =x
Been busy over there.
Juz wanna do as much as i could for grandma.
I love her
& she's the only grandma tat im close with.
and nw,
i gota lead my life without any grandparent!
i will miss you
With Love,
Just wanna say; You're the best grandma ever
Once again, wanna thank
Jessica
Rei
wei wei & Jun Jie
Calvin & Jeffery
Geradine who sms me
Jun Ping who sms me
Last & Not least, Jaren who has been with me throughout the 3 days.
1st day:
3pm to 7am
2nd day & 3rd day:
9pm to 6.30pm [the next day]
its soo weird laa.
Not tat im staying over nite at his hse,
Not tat he staying over nite at my hse,
but at my relative hse.
hahhaa~
and we both had 2 nightshift together =x
1st nite,
i was discipline enough
to study mental health LOL
woohooo~
I felt darn bad for the 2nd nite.
watched "my gal" wif him
and i fall aslp, leaving him jaga-in the coffin area alone till 5am plus -_-
and den we went up to slp together.
omg, he snore togther with my cousin =.=
zzzzz
basically,
everyone addressing him "my boi" -_-
and my mum pronouns his name EE How as Yi Hao [number 1] -_-
okay basically, on the 2nd nite,
cousin, brothers, me and him
went kallang mac to eat.
Kor kor drove =x
WEEE~
den went geylang da bao food for ah ma =x
and we share oyster. aahaha~
3rd day, jaren was given a task by my mum.
she needed him to look after the void desk when we send ah ma off
cos we cant possibly let guest to look after it.
she made him sound like part of family -_-
aniwae he bought me 2 bottle of crysanthemum
and my bro teased me -_-
"urs from tamp one horr"
thank ahh bro... -_-
hmm basically,
my dad asked me abt him.
I was being honest, to the extend tat i told him abt smoking
& qualification -_-
bt well well,
he didnt say anithin nor show any sign of rejection.
lastly, i told my mum alot about you.
ur studies, ur social life, ur family background.
No idea why i say.
Her comment was: "good for you if you are able to cut down & quit"
cos she noe you are cutting down.
soo yepp.
everyone has been friendly to him.
QI JI, i noe =x
Boi,
Thanks for everything.
Everything you had done for me since the day you fall for me.
Thanks for all the help, concern & support all this while.
Thanks for being there for me, when i needed someone.
Thanks for sacrificing your slp to stay up
Thanks for folding paper for my grandma,
on behalf of her, thanks!
You made me have confident in you
Thanks for making my family accepting you
as you noe, tats what im most concerned about.
You made me understand you more
& i had fallen deeper for you
i choose to let them see you,
mainly becos i doesnt wan to hide from them.
i wan them to noe what type of guy you are.
i wan them to noe you more
i wan them to accept you who who you are,
despite of your past.
partially,
maybe part of me had accept you?
maybe part of me trust you?
maybe part of me feel secure with you?
maybe part of me noe tat my family will like you?
Just a feeling tat i felt weird too.
Im still thinking, why i didnt hide you from my family.
i doesnt noe why i will haf the gut to bring you there
Just the feeling that cant be describe?
xD
in aniwae,
didnt regret showing you to them.
Not bad, almost all saying thank to you =x
LOVE LOVE, boi
Tagboard replied;
Jessica;
hey gal, thanks for ur support! dun worry, marmie is strong alritee? and of cos, i still remember the day when ur fav grandpa passed away, and i had been there to cheer you up. anithin abt you, your past & wad you had done for me, marmie wont forget about it x) soo rest assure alrriteee? somehow, im still thinking about "horse horse" & the happy time we had in the past. Our promises, our plans and everything between you & me. I duno things will get better between us, though you had forgiven me for what i had done. but still, i feel its kinda hard. I noe you had been trying hard to get back like last time. But im sad to say, since the day you passed me the panda biscuit, i didnt pin high hope on us. i noe it didnt change much though you said you had forgiven me. The look in ur eyes had betrayed you. you are afraid of seeing me still. you would look away when i stare into ur eyes. i noe you wouldnt wan to see me unnecessary, let alone going out just between you and me. i feel tat we are over and it gonna take a long long years for us to get back like last time or there wont be next time? anyway, its not important animore. just hope you can lead ur life to the fullest, and forget abt "someone". im sure one day, there will be "such person" who deserve u more. like wad i said, im glad tat you had forgiven me, whether i had given up our r/s is another issue nw. but still, as promised, i would still be there for you whenever you needed me. *hug*
Rei;
OMG GAL, you are too funny laa you! my ah ma dun drink frappucino, mocha or caramel frap laaa... -_-'' she only love drinking "kopitiam" coffeee LOL. hahahaha aniwae i was just joking about you deliverin starbuck coffee to mee laaa.. pig laa.. you think i still gt mood to drink high class cofffee mehh? blehhh... =x aniwae thanks for ur lame msg which made me lol. =x
Ger;
darling.. not tat i didnt tell you. i didnt haf the mood to sms my frens about it. and for sure, i noe you will read my blog. soo i blog it out and you will noe. soo yep, im sorry for not saying, cos i just wanna be alone upon hearing the bad news. i noe you will sms me and gave me ur support bla bla... what i need is a peace of silent in my phone. soo i didnt sms you abt it. and i noe you are having some party thingy, soo i doesnt wan to spoil ur mood also. i did think of telling you and ping, bt i only told ping cos i suppose to meet her on sun for breakfast. sorry for not saying.
and i respect you if you doesnt wan to tell me the reason. In any way, i will be there for you ya. and yepyep... i dun blame you for nt telling me abt it, cos i noe you doesnt wan to add on to my burden. muackkk