Friday, October 12, 2007
Going Changi Airport
Just read darling ger blog and my tears just flow down. pretty sad for her. haish...WHY!?!?She's just a normal girl
A sweet and kind hearted girl.
Why must she go thru soo many things?
Why must she go thru soo much of sufferin?
Friends prob, family prob, health prob, relationship prob?
One come after another one...
When will this day stop?
When will she be able to enjoy life
and be like other people?
Just when will tat day come?
I dun wanna see her in pain anymore
I dun wanna see her sufferin anymore
I dun wanna see her get hurt anymore
I dun wanna see her breaking down anymore
Though i'm nt the one who is going thru all these,
But it hurt me deeply to see her going thre all these alone.
I know she is stronger than last time,
I know this day will come to the end.
But when will it be?
what pissed mie abit was why her mum made
such a comment when she is around?
And why must she said tat in the first place?
I always thot she's a wonderful mother who always stood by her.
But i was wrong...
why did she say "it's hard to take care of ger"?
I understand why she said tat,
But does she think tat ger wana it to be in tis way?
She dun feel good at all..
NOT AT ALL...
Darling,
I hope you can be much stronger and overcome it. Prove it to everyone around you tat you can do it yea? No matter how hard the road gonna be, just bear in mind tat you had once gone thru it before. It shouldn't be any problem to fight for another battle. You haf mie, Justin and some of ur close friend who will always be there to support you and pei you go thru every single obstacle yea? Never give up on urself or anything, dun break down anymore. Once you break down again, it's even harder to fight the battle. Be strong and be confidence and we will be there to accompany and give you our support. Believed in urself...you can do it gal...This day will soon be OVER!!
I MISS YOUR SMILE AND LAUGHTER...
when will i be able to see it again?
Todaymet up wif dear again. It's our last 2 outing before my school reopen =( well initially our plan is to go changi airport to walk den go changi village to eat and see ah gua =x den at last nite go tanjong pagar Gay pub to take a look =x dear was very relunctant to bring mie there bt still he willing to bring after seein how curious i was =x haha!!
well, our plan change in the end. We went to changi airport and reach there like 5pm. den dear say he wanna watch "Resident Evil Extinction"...so i decided to watch it with him today. left changi airport to tampiness mall at 6.30 after having snack at mac =x Had our cheesy pasta as dinner in the end =x well teh show was pretty nice and thrillin.
the show ended like 9.30pm? dear bought fries so tat we had sth to eat during our long bus ride. hahaa!! thank dear for being patient to feed mie =x i took 20 bites to finished up 1 short fries =x *On purpose* As usual like wad a pig do after they eat, i fall aslp on dear shoulder =x dear said i slept for like 1/2 an hr? oops...felt soo bad...cos i left dear alone while i was sleepin soundly on his shoulder =(
12 Oct 2007 [Friday]
Today dear dear gt his driving theory test. Went to GWC Yoshinoya to had lunch with him. den toook a shittle bus to town and take mrt to yio chu kang. Waited for the time to come cos the test start at 4.30pm.awww....
dear PASSED his test..
Like finally?
hahaa
xD
Soo proud of him
& happy for him
At least my afford paid off by...
Accompany him to study?
Accompany him to study?
Sendin him there?
& Nagging at him, ask him go study?
=x
took a long jouney bus to meritus mandarin as i need to take my pay. Cos once school reopen i do not have e time to take the pay =s
On our way there, we took quite a few photos =)
Had our dinner at Kobayashi..haha!! brought dear there to eat...it's been months since i went there to eat...yummy~ Dear dear love it too =)
Took a bus to clark quey as i always wanted to go there at nite time. at the same time wanna bring dear go.. aww...the nite scenery there was pretty good...quite relaxing and the place there is darn lively...gt performance and ppl around went shock plug..=x it's really a nice place to hang out after a stressful life in work =) 
when abt to leave the place, heard band from somewhere...dear and i walked over there...cos i really miss band a lot...heard a few pieces of songs. it will perked mie up...i believed dear also enjoy himself too...hopefully cos he was havin slight stomach pain. haishh..poor thing...till now still haven recover from his sickness... =/Thursday, October 11, 2007
My thots and feelin
AhhHHH~Felt soo weird lately,
Felt that:
i had lost my sense,
I had lost my Thought,
I had lost my Feelin,
I'm feelin very confused...
RITE NOW...
As i walk down the road,
I get to see many dif type of people.
At different point, different time, things changed
There is no such word call "always"
Cldn't stop thinking abt us.
had we drifted?
Had no idea why i felt tat way.
Perhaps is the time we had for each other is gettin lesser?
Maybe yes, Maybe no?
I duno...
Is my love for him really true?
Will i ever love him forever?
Will i ever get soft hearted cos of the other guy?
I had no idea...
Am i loving him more than he love mie?
I think i am...
Actions told mie everything...
Bt how much can i rely on it?
I wish i cld love him even more.
But 2 words came in between us...
DARE NOT...
These words had stop mie from carrying on.
Is he truely love mie?
or was he toyin my feelin juz becos he needed someone?
Is there other reason why he love mie?
Is there other reason tat he is hiding from mie?
I know all the answer,
but i doesn't wan to trust it.
I doesn't wan to give myself too much confidence.
I doesn't wan it to become like mie and adrian.
The past relationship was really bad.
Though i had forgiven him for everything
But the things tat he had done,
will never be forgotten.
I had learnt my lesson...
There is no such word call "forever"
It's foolish and stupid to think tat
he will be the only one tat i love...
he will be my first and last guy in life.
It's all bull shit
and it will never be true.
People get divorce after they gt married.
Couple broke up after they gt together.
No matter how close they are, things will changed in time.
Perhaps i'm really afraid of commiting into a new relationship?
or maybe he haven made mie feel tat he's the guy?
"Forever" had extinct in my dictionary since tat day.
i dun blame him for certain reasons for causin mie being unfaithful.
Neither did i regreted being wif him.
ahh i'm thinking too much...
rahhHHSss...
Felt my life is soo screw up.
I had just lost my way in love
and i think i'm gonna lost my ownself too...
really feel like changin myself,
changing my style of dressin
changing my image
changing from good to bad
changing my positive attitude to negative.
change my sex.
really wish to change to someone tat no one will noe mie.
-I'm sux-
Today is my last day of work in mandarin. Cos i guess i'm gonna spend my weekend wif JJ ba. Captain asked mie to come back work for her on this coming sat cos she gt not nough staff. Didn't give her my ans... really dun wanna go de..but really dun wanna reject her..she soo nice, somemore still ask mie...if reject her wifout consideration, is like too heartless =x See how things goes ba... at this moment of time,dun really feel like having much contact with him. =s
today end work at 6pm. cos there isn't any nite functon. initially wanna buy porriage for him to eat de. thought i cld visit him and see how is he. bt since he say he going out wif his friend...den forget abt it ba though i really miss him. like wad i said friend are equally impt =)
10 October 2007 [Wednesday]
Started work from 11am till 11.30pm...darn shag. afternoon had function till 3pm...and we only had 3 hrs to turn over? like 70 plus tables to be set up? and the staff is like soo little? only 8 of us? like wad the hack? bo Bian nor...have to speed and do multi tasking...den only had my dinner at 7 plus?
Den nite time nt enough staff. as a result 1 staff is to 2 normal table. cos there are 14 VIP tables and 1 staff is required to serve one VIP table as table service/portioning is required :S it's my first time doing table service for every single dish cos i'm serving VIP table :S and lin xiang ping dad was sitting on my table :S
haish initially gt more than enough staff one...the china people all like go on riot like tat...all refused to work for this event. cos its a function of taipei national day celebration. soo yep...one of the girl spoke out and even voice out everything rite in front of all the managers....and the whole gang all just take their bag and walked off during briefing time...yep rite infront of the managers...i was pretty proud of them bt i was stun..cos 3/4 of the staff are from china..if they leave, we will die =s bt thanks god...it's still manageable la...just tat service abit slow..cos gt 10 local staff first attempt on table =x
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Made porriage for dear dear
Woke up at 10 plus and met dear at 11am for lunch at my hse hawker. realised tat he wasn't feelin well [e moment i saw him.] see him soo weak, soo restless, den abit of fever...felt soo heartache nor yet i can't do anything for him. In the end it was mie who did the eatin only. he gt no appetite to eat anything/dare nt eat as he's afraid of going toilet after eatin.send him to school after lunch. cos his class start at 1.30pm...accompany dear dear to wait for jun liang outside his school bus stop before i go home and sleep.yep during the45 mins journey back home, i fell aslp in bus. yep reached home at 2pm sharp. initially plan to go home slp for an hr before coming out to fetch dear dear home de...bt i end up cookin porriage for him =x
It was my first time cooking porriage in my whole life. never cook or learn tat in school. think the porriage doesn't taste nice ba..cos i only had 1 hr to cook it. furthermore, i din follow recipe from my fnn book or my mum recipe. i just open fridge "see gt wad den cook wad" =x and wad worse is there is NO CHICKEN BONE...wanted to cooked shredded chicken porriage for him de bt frige NO CHICKEN!! wad i see is all PORK, or fish...bt those fish can't be used to cook porriage. soo i gt no choice bt to cooked it with mushroom, carrot and sth. cos carrot and tat sth can give out the taste ma. i dun encourage the used of CHICKEN STOCK! soo unhealthy..NOOO nooo... =)
yep left hse at 3.15pm and reached his school like 4pm. waited at the bus stop for like 45 mins. it's darn sunny...bt thanks god it was windy..hahaa!! Rickson really buey tahan mie..for being able to wait for soo long=x and tis is my first time send him back home...walk him till his hse downstair before i make my way back home=) cos usually i only send him till his hse bus stop den i go off le.
and tis was my first time calling my manager up and told him a big lie =s told him tat i gt school activitiy at the last min thus i cldn't turn up for work at 6pm today. bt the fact is i wanna send dear home as i'm worried tat sth might happen to him when going home. and i really wish to tc of him when he is sick. wish i cld go his hse and tc of him too..bt too bad...i can't. cos he won't be the ony one alone in the hse. =/ ohh btw he was rather touched =I
haishh...hope dear can recovered faster. dun wanna see him suffer anymore.i wan him to stay healthy always =I
and ohhh btw...DEAR had QUIT SMOKING for 9 DAYS already =) totally din touch cigarette at all...awww...dear, i'm soo proud of you..muack! Hope you won't touched cigarette anymore..Now is ur turn to pursue JL to quit...and give tat guy [nt mentioning name] determination to quit..=X ahahhaa!!
haishh...
really duno why ping and semore say i "zhong she qing you"
For ping, i understand, cos it always seemed like whenever we abt to go out, den last min will cancel de...either darling ger sick or daling ger nt free...or there is sth crop up suddenly. if nt we 3 are busy with our own stuff and seldom have the time when 3 of us are free at one go. and it seem like i always have the time for dear only. and it seemed like darlin ger and i always able to meet up whenever we planed the event. i dun say for all outings, bt mostly. furthermore ger will bring justin and i will bring dear along. Maybe becos of that there is some misunderstandin bet ping and mie, ping and ger. i dun blame ping, cos i understand abt her thinking.
Den how abt semore? i really dun understand.
I was soo heartbroken and sad when he told mie "you zhong shi qing you".i was abit piss, sad and i almost teared la.not as though i told him i will accompany him work today? it was him who wan to follow my working shedule. how can he say i pang seh him? Furthermore, now also nt as though i dun go work cos i wanna have fun with dear? i didn't work cos i wanted to send him home after his class. is there any thing wrong with tat?
Yea..Now i noe ppl who read this entries will agree with ping and semore. No one will side for mie, in fact more ppl are going to tell mie e same phrase. I dun give a darn...i dun need anyone to side for mie anyway? like for wad? If my ex read this, he gonna say i love doing what i love to do. and ignoring everyone comment tat is bad. Go ahead wif what you wanna think.
yes i did mention tat i wish to spend time with him whenever i'm free. i rather spend my last week of holiday with him than to work [nt mentioning friend]. why? why am i like tis? the fact is i noe i can't see him tat often anymore. next week sch resuming..week after next week..he finishin his course and will go back to camp and stay over nite there till weekend. how often can i meet him when tat days come?
can't ppl just understand tat i just wanna see and accompany him whenever i can cos i can't see him tat often and i gonna miss him badly? If you are a guy, you do wish tat ur gf or someone you like will spend her time wif you. If you are a girl, when you gt a NS guy as ur bf or fallen for a NS guy, your thinking will still be the same as mine. Now is not as though friends ask mie out and i reject them?
why can't they just understand tat to me friend are equally as impt as my dear? all of them had been supportive and always gave mie the strength to carry on. i dun show it bt i feel and i knew it inside my heart. i rmb who you are.
duno la
Doesnt wan to care
wad i noe is tat you broke my heart
when you said tat to mie
ahhh soo pissed...
tml still need to see him at work :S
he gonna start pesterin mie by sayin "ps mie ytd"
he better nag once or twice.
If not im afraid i'm gonna scream at him
8 Oct 2007 [MOnday]
Nth much to update abt. Woke up at 6am cos i need to report work at 8am. and gosh i almost send back home. think there is some error ba. captain gave mie the time 8am. bt there isn't any function held in tat function room [act 1] early in the morning. Thanks god, henry the manager let mie do set up in act 1. yea..ALONE..thanks ehh..i had never done setting alone. and i had never set VIP table before. bt thanks god it was quite pretty done and henry complimented mie =) For once i was being thank by him and was commented tat i did a great job and a fast one. =s Cos this manager super strict one. he's the well known discipline master who care soo much abt attitude, dressing =x yea...i gain his trust =x
took a few photos of the set up..will upload when i free =)
As usual, i was being appointed to serve VIP table by iskandar, manager =s prepared the utensil until i gone mad...carry all the way from 4th floor to 35 floor =s nt light okay?
ahh well..think today i did set up do until i went crazy...suddenly tok soo many crap with managers =x somemore still shoot them..bt they noe i was playin wif them..tat's why they play along..=x My first time nia..good IMPROVEMENT..!! well done mie..=x