Friday, January 04, 2008
Reflection about love
Recently there are lots of things happening around mie.Both GOOD & BAD
First of all, i would like to CONGRADULATE
my dearie, *A*
who had finally ready to give it a try to a BGR
who had finally willing to give him a chance to love & care her
and had finally made up the decision to be with the *him*
Good luck for both of you
and hopefully things goes well for you 2...
was really shocked and surprised that you are even faster than mie xD
But who cares~
No rushing yea?
At the other hand, i felt SORRY to my bestie, *S*
the realationship between her and him is just like mie and dear
both of them love each other deeply in the past,
Not much ppl get to noe abt it
due to religion reason.
Thus they have to keep it silence
Now, she still love him as much
But the guy wanna leave her now.
Doesn't noe the main reason behind it
as i didn't have a chance to meet up with her yet.
*Dearie, just wanna let you noe, no matter what happened both mie and des will always be there for you yep? Sorry that i cldn't meet up with you whenever you asked cos i was working. But i promise you that i will make myself free from anything this coming sat yea?*
what i can say is
Everyday there are new couple forming.
happily together
sharing problem
going through thick and thin together
But there are also couple who are breaking up,
thinking of the past
Crying all the way
trying to be strong
or hoping things will get back to last time
its all happening all over the world,
be it a happy ones,
or a heartbreaking one.
wad i wanna say is,
think carefully before you step into a relationship.
You know the importance of each partner contributin to the relationship,
"it always take 2 hand to clap"
You know what will happened if things doesn't turn up well for both,
You know the responsibilities you are carryin with you,
Once you had decided everything,
No point regreting.
No matter how sad you are
life goes on.
No matter what you think
is all useless.
there again...
Im thinking about dear & i
I know is pretty unfair to him if my friend around mie had influence my thought.
But i was just pretty afraid of steping into something that i might end up hurting myself twice.
cos i really love dear
and i doesn't wan to lose him.
there again...
"i trust him"
but how much do i believe that he truly love mie?
"He wanted to be with mie is bcos of some personally issue"
this thought had been carried with mie for weeks.
How cld i accept him with such a thought?
was it because i feel that i love him more than he does?
was it becos i sacrifice more than he does?
or was it me who had been over sensitive about it?
Even if he doesn't has any intention to be with mie,
but what if one day he leave mie like wad is happening to my fren?
If that's the case,
i would rather i had never been with him before.
But what if...
what if i being unfaithful like last time?
I know i will hurt dear alot...
i doesn't wan to hurt him.
i noe i should forgive myself
and give myself a chance to be faithful once again.
i noe i should let the past affect me.
but...
i duno...
Gotta go rest,
Fall sick again..
darn it..
wad a nice new year =.=''
weather is turning cold..
wish i cld hide under dear's hand during tis period of time.
But i noe i can't cos he just got back home
zzzz~
oh yea...and im working tml!!
with kenny..
his first time there..
soo im gonna be a hotel tour guide to lead him and li ping =)
Happy working yea?
Specially requested to work same function as him xD
"Im all alone when im sick,
where were you when i needed you the most"?
3th Jan 2008 (Thursday)
End school at 2pm and got home to rest
Met up with kenny [ger classmate] @ HF to buy watch for myself
aww...recently soo in love with watches..!
hahaa!! I HAD 3 NOW [includesive of darling xmas gift for mie]
*thanks darling...i love it...muack~
Just that e watch very loose...
Gotta go punch 3 holes =x*
thanks to kenny who brought mie to novena "revenue house" to work on a mini project =P
Gonna get paid $150 after the project =P
Den we went to eat SAKAE!! goshh~
1 year din eat SAKAE liao..
aww...it's still as yummy as ever!! rawkk~
Thnak to kenny who introduce mie "soft shellcrab"
aww it's soo nice!!
had one and a half of it...
Basically whatever we ordered, we SHARED!!
hah!!..
and we spend about $15 each xD
Initially kenny wanted to bring mie to heeren to taste a glass of red wine.
aww soo sweet of him yea?
hah!! it was close =.=''
it's okay!
we will meet up one day to have a drink?
2nd Jan 2008 (wednesday)
Met up with kenny outside my school bus stop.
Made our way to HF to have our yoshinoya.
Always didn't have the time to eat that together cos both of us are schoolin.
Now he having holiday, soo able to eat that together since im gona wait for dear to nite out.
yep kenny treated mie yoshinoya..
and i treat him potato set =)
after lunch we went to shop around vivo and we chated alot.
den went to starbuck as i told him that the cheesecake there was nice.
hah!! didn't had any for myself as i was pretty full after yoshi...=)
aww dear shock mie with his new hair cut
hahaa...look soo beng =x
look exactly like rickson...like brother like that.
xD
But no matter how beng he look, i will still love him =)
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Dear doesn't understand mie
Happy 9th Mths Anniversary to darlin, GERADINE!!Today is our 9th mth anniversary yet we cldn't meet up to celebrate tis special day.
But will you promised mie that you cld make it on our 1 year ANNIVERSARY?
Love you loads...
Muackie..
Had a pretty nice plan for 1st day of the year.
[1st Jan 2008]
- Go shopping with cutie pie @ bugis at 1pm
- Meet dear at 5 plus to send him back to camp
Basically it's a perfect plan to mie.
at least i din neglect my fren cos of dear.
However things didn't turn up tis way...
Cutie pie sms sayin tat she gt home in the morning and request to meet up at 3pm...
Im fine wif it...
Even if the outin gonna be like 2 hr plus?
But even if she wanna shift it to weekend it doesn't matter
I can always keep dear accompany before sendin him to camp.
Woke up at 12.30
Last minute decision "Cook carbonara spag" for dear as i wanna clear my fresh mushroom.
It was kind of rushing for mie as i gonna deliver to dear personally.
and i gona reach Bugis at 3pm?
Doesn't wan him to come over to my hse as he doesn't haf bus concession.
As a result i didn't have the time to eat my lunch or Breakfast
Smsed Cutie pie when i was at bukit merah interchange while waitin for bus to go dear hse.
and an sms from her SHOCKED mie...
she said "Thot e meetin is cancelled"?
Okay...
sometime the network is juz not workin...
soo i dun blame her for tat.
Cos i believed she did msg mie abt tat while i was busy cookin...
But i didn't received anithin...
Furthermore im nt on my way to there yet..
soo i can acompany dear for teh whole afternoon?
But any sentence of hers do puzzle mie..
she said "she will still be at bugis to meet her fren till evening time and asked mie if i wanna go bugsi to take the gift".
wad did she meant by that?
What are her frens doing at bugis?
Nah...didn't bother to ask much
Sometime knowin nth is the BEST solution.
Cos misunderstanding n miscommunication can always happened.
Dear came down to looked for mie when i reached
Told him abt mie not meetin cutie pie.
wad he did was to send mie to bus stop and wan mie to rest at home.
im Fine with it.
But tat wasn't wad i wan..
can't you just sit with mie a while more before sending mie to bus stop?
He doesn't know wad i wan.
He doesn't know wad's going on in my mind
wad he know is im thinking of sth and keep pester mie to tell him.
wad i can say is...
I'm SORRY, i won't tell you till i get home.
like wad i mentioned before,
i hate people to do sth only when i said it right infront of their face
It's ptless
It doesn't make thing any meaning.
If you dun understand mie,
If you doens't noe how to think..
If you doesn't noe wad i wan
Then too bad...
Right now,
im not asking any demanding things
Im not asking anything that will cost u a big bomb
why is it always soo hard for you to make mie happy
just by knowing wad im thinking?
I dun find it DEMANDING at all...
Is soo stupid to come all the way to ur hse just to deliver food to you
and go all the way back again...
and come out of my hse just to send you to camp!
It sound more like you are makin use of mie.
I knoe you dun,
But that is how outside ppl judge
Furthermore, i can't be bother to tell you wads on my mind
cos your next question will be:
"So where you wan to go, wad you wan to do"?
Im pretty sick and tired of such question from u
Can't you make any decision?
Why must i be the one who always decide the place to go
& things to do?
Is it soo hard to find a guy
who truely understand mie inside out?
Is it soo hard to find a guy
who can kill my boredom?
Is it soo hard to find a guy
who has the same characteristic as mie
soo that we cld do things together and knowing each other expectation?
Things to be completed by this year 2008:
- Good grade for final examiniation
AAP: from grsde B to grade A
Pharmacology: grade A to grade A+
Fundamental of nursing: Grade "unknown" to A
Cell molecular biology: Grade 28/40 to 32/40
Nursing Research: last assignment add up together able to get at least a B+
Singapore and world issue: By end of year 1 able to get at least a B+
Sports and wellness: Passed
- Good grade for year 2 examinations
- Get My driving liscense
Things to be bought by this year 2008:
- SunGlass
- Lap top
- Blue sweater
- White jacket
- New Converse shoe
- New baggie
Hoping for this year:
- Had a photo taken with all my darlin and made it into jigsaw puzzle
- Buy new furniture to design my own room
- Save up to $12 000 since im being bonded.
- Able to earn $600 during 1 mth of holiday in march
- Permission granted from parents to paint my room
- Relationship with jess and ping get better
- Relationship with other friends improved
- More crappie =x
- Have time for everything
- Red cross more active
- Class outin to other countries
- More voluntary work introduce to us
Monday, December 31, 2007
Dear Bdae, Outing with jess, Ping etc..
Always wanted to blogBut always cldn't find time to do so.
Thus the only way is to summarise everything.
Pretty jealous those ppl who are able to blog almost everyday
21st December 2007 [Friday]
Went to work after my attachment.
Gotta earn as much as possible as i gonna spend pretty much on dear's gift
And it was SUPER TIRING as i wake up like 5.30am?
22nd December 2007 [Saturday]
Finally....And after soo long, able to meet up wif my cutie pie Ping and my darling ger @ Bugis ..=) aww miss them soo much..
did some shopping...wanted to find dress bt it was too crowded to do any shopping...Bt darling manage to buy a black shoe for herself..
As usual, went to pastamania to have our pasta as our meal xD
After lunch, walk around aimlessly and den decided to go far east
But sad to say THERE IS NTH TO SHOP THERE!!
Soo boring...
& we move on to Vivo...
Took lots of pic...
about 200 plus? =x
and now we shall do some pictures description xD
[Let the pictures do the talking of the day when we went to town & vivo]
E-Mo-In @ Hyatt Hotel
We Lovey Dovey
The best photos taken together
Snatching Our last bite of cheesecake @ Vivo Starbuck
23rd December 2007 [Sunday]
Went to vivo Giant to buy all the ingredient as 24th December is dear's birthday. Gonna prepare all his gift and get his bdae cake baked by today. Thus cldn't spend time with him though i misses him real badly. Bt i believed everything i do, and the lies i told him for not meetin up is all worth it =)
Sorry dear for tellin you a big fat lies..
and i believed i had succeeded makin you believed into it
as i had been lyin to you for mths just becos of this surprised tat i gonna throw to you.
You will noe abt everything regardin wad i had done =)
& thanks darlin for acccompany mie
Love you soo much...
Muack
24th December 2007 [Monday]
Though it's a xmas 2007 eve, bt i had my attachment in the morning 7am to 3pm. thanks god it was in the morning as today is DEAR 21st BIRTHDAY...been looking forward to it since the day i fall for him. Likewise he had always been lookin forward to tis day to celebrate his 21st birthday with mie. Bt i told him i cldn't make it with good reasons. And tat's the only way i cld surprised him with a surprised celebration.
Rush home immediately after my attachment. Get the food cooked as we gonna had a little mini dinner light dinner at a HUT nearby HDB flat.
3 course meal:
- Appertiser: Cheesy egg and baked Cheesy Potatoes
- Main Course: Cheesy Carbonara Spag with ham and mushroom
- Dessert: Honeydew Sago
In order to made the surprised possible, Justin and darlin came over to help mie. First i told dear tat his gift was with darlin and i wished he cld get it from her on his bdae as i cldn't pass it to him personally.
Thus when darling when to meet dear, i was hide at my hse staircase waiting for his arrival. yep managed to surprised him...
Next, i asked him to close his eyes...
hahaa~ din noe he was soo bad at it. xD
He felt soo scary to walk with eyes CLOSED!!
but soon it was alrite as i threatened him to close...=x
yep lead him to the hut whereby Justin did a good job by lighting all the Candles..
the HUT IS DEN WELL DECORATED wif candles...~
Obviously he was stun and surprised and touched.
He went speechless throughout the dinner LOL!!
*Only when i speak to him*
Once again i gonna thank Justin and Darling for being
MY WAITER & WAITRESS for the day
You people did a good job, a good SERVICE PROVIDED FOR US!!
*CLAP CLAP*
after dinner,
i signal to darling to go my hse take bdae cake
by tellin her a good excuses to leave us so tat dear won't suspect.
Sang him a bday song,
He blow e candle...
didn't managed to take pics as the wind was pretty strong
oooh~ FORGOT TO ASKED HIM WAD HE HAD WISHED =..='
After that, i passed him a big box which is filled with his GIFTS and bits of flower which gave out JASMINE smell~~!!
- Jar of 6 Types of Chocolates
- Photos book filled with pasted 99 developed PHOTOS with story and captions [Specially select the paper and bind it]
Conclusion??
My planned had succeeded
My time, my afford and the amt i spent is all worth it.
Spend about 100 plus for someone bdae =x
Dear,
Happy Birthday to you..
I know 21st bdae meant alot to you which is why i doesn't mind doin all tis for you.
Hope you really enjoyed ur nite with mie
and hopefully i had given you a very nice and memorable bdae and xmas gift.
Just wanna let you noe, you are the first guy tat i ever did tis to
& spendin soo much on a gift for someone.
Cos you are not only someone,
But someone dear and special in my heart.
I love you and i hope we can always remain in tis way.
Able to celebrate all the special events and ur bdae nt only for tis yr, next coming year but ALWAYS.
Recently many things had happened to us...
we had quarrelled quite a few times
But my love for you is still as much as before...
Will you promise mie that e things you do won't made my feelin fade away?
Will you promise mie that you won't do anything to make mie sad?
I love you,
Muack~
Lovie Lovie you, Muackie Muackie forever
28th december 2007 [Friday]
YEA!!
FINALLY MY ATTCHMENT IS OVER!!
But it also mean that school is startin soon...
gonna mug again..
as i gonna take my common test retest...
thanks to those ppl who cheated which made the cohort to retake =.=''
Bt im pretty fine with it...
can revise back our work ma...
stay positive yea? =x
aniwae i got B GRADE for my attachment
Improved 2 marks as compared with my previous attachment =x
reallie love my Ci
They taught mie a lot.
Sth that can't be learnt in school.
Missed my 1 of my patient,
I had developed a feeling for tis patient unknowingly.
It hurt mie to see her tear or try to speak to mie.
God bless her with less torturing.
saw a handsome and sweet doctor today..
oh no...since when did i become such a bitch?
Lookin at doctor etc...?
thanks to all my fellow friends who always get soo crazy with doctor...
But honestly speaking, the doctor who spoke to mie today was pretty handsome.
He had a sweet smile...=D
can say he's my first eyes candy
somehow i just cldnt get rid of his image in my mind.
>.<'' Dear gonna kill mie for tat =x
Went out with jessica, jermine and minnie after my attachment.
like FINALLY?
We had not been meeting as a group since last yr?
hasn't been seein jess for like half a yr?
hmm...did nth much bt we had our dinner at pizza hut @ marina square
29 December 2007 [saturday]
Went to SGH with my 2 beloved Brother...
yep obviously we went there to get my bond signed =)
thus i shall announced that IM BEING SPONCER BY SGH...
cos they had accepted me...
Thus it mean that i gotta
work hard on my study
less outin and bloggin
and more revision before exam..
After that went to visit my grandma in nursing home.
the very last time i saw her was like new year?
Cos i always doesnt have the time to pay her a visit.
yep time to visit her more often yea?
Met up with dear though i was pretty tired.
But well whenever i meet up with him i got the chance to rest on his shoulder!
isn't it great?
hah!! just enjoyed soo much sleeping on his shoulder...
30 December 2007 [Sunday]
Met up with dear in the afternoon as i gotta replace my friend in mandarin at evening time. went to walk around taka and i bought BRONNIE~ awww it's soo darn nice... hah!! soo chocolatery =x
Next we went to cine to accompany dear to has his lunch..
took a walk round there and realised it was pretty boring there...
Took a seat while waiting for my reportin time
Reach home abt 12 plus after work..
feeling tired...
31 December 2007 [Monday]
Met up with semore, yan lin dear dear, glenn and one of semore friend at city hall as dear dear misses mie. Went to suntec foodcourt and eat and crap around there..
had my ICE KACANG as lunch =x
Been a long time since i ever eat tat.
as usual, walked around aimlessly,
and soon we went to toyrus..
went to have tea break at starbuck...
dear dear and i shared a cheesecake
and ended up mie treatin her..LOL
Bid goodbye to them and went to find dear
Poor dear, he was sick since ytd.
and today he was having hyperthemia..
panadol doesn't seem to be effetive for him...
hmm...didn't go countdown as dear was pretty weak
didn't wan him to gather with the crowd
thus i went to his hse area to find him.
Had my dinner "Paper Prata Chocolate" @ GWC
looked nice and yummy..
but it wasn't say very nice...
cos it's too expensive =x
After diner,
hang around his hse downstair..
saw his younger brother
& his parent =X
His parent recognise mie
=.=''
Today is NEW YEAR EVE
Just wanna made a fast msg here for each indiviidual.
Geradine: darling, like wad jess mentioned in ur blog no pt cryin when there is problem yea? always stay calm and stay strong. YOu are a big gal now..in another 14 days, you are turning 19, a more mature young lady...soo must handle things well ah =) school is starting soon..study hard yea? Last and not least dun forget to look for mie whenever you are feeling down yea? I noe 2007 is a tough year for you...but it's all over...Hope tis year will be a much more better year for you...You can definitely overcome it...
Jessica: Just wanna tell you that no matter wad happened to us tis year will never be repeated in 08. You can have my words. Dun worry dear, i noe the only thing you need now is time. I will give you time and meanwhile i will try harder to catch up with you though im pretty busy. and hopefully from there we can get closer like last time...nono i should say much better than that. Meanwhile if you face any problem, you can always count on mie yea? last and not least, dun neglect your study even though the subject may be very hard. when you first enter the school to take ur degree you shluld have expected all this and mentally prepared. perhaps you just need to stay more forcus, be more attentive in class, pratice and asked more when in doubt. Good luck dear~
Jermaine: Hopefully you can have more time to go out with mie though tis yr is ur A level year. Study hard alrite? i noe you have the potential to do well for your studies...you had always been the outstanding students in class...jia yOu..
My poly schoolmates, Let's work hard to score well for our final examination in year 1. Let's us enjoyed our last moment of happiness together as a class as we gonna split into different class in year 2. Gonna miss you gals badly.
My working friends, school is starting, unable to go back mandarin to work with you guys. Gonna miss every one of you deeply. Gonna miss the lame joke that you guys had be talking about =x For people who going sec 5, good luck for your study! For people who is still waiting for O level result, good luck for ur result. Dun worry If you think you had put in lots of effort into it.
Dear, at tis point of time i had known you for about 5 mths plus. all this while i had always enjoyed each and single days with you. thanks for the things you had done soo far. It was really sweet of you to fold mie JAR OF STARS & BOTTLES OF HEARTS! its soo sweet of you to fold that to mie while you are in brunei.
I got no idea how long more we will remain as this single bt not available status. Not that i doesn't wan to accept you bt i just need time to think over it and see if you are really the one for mie. Cos i doesn't wan to make anymore mistake. Sorrry if i have to keep you waitin. another reason for nt accepting you yet cos i keep thinking negative. i mean i keep thinking you wanted to be with mie is up to some motive which i had mentioned to you earliest on. Furthermore now my friends are having some bgr problem which really made mie afraid of stepping into it and invite those problem to myself.
wad i need is time to think abt it