After, so long.
this my first time reading your private blog, dear.

i hope you understand,
there are too many things i wanna tell you.
But, i refrain.

something kept holding me back.
perhaps, im still feeling guilty about what had happened, 2 years back.
perhaps, i believe you dun need me animore.
perhaps, im jealous abt "her".
perhaps im still not treated fairly.

but i guess,
it doesnt matter anymore.
so long as you are happy, im fine with it.
sorry, is what i wanna tell you.

sorry for all the broken promises which i doubt i can fulfill anymore.

i do wonder,
have i given up on you completely?
sometime my answer would be a yes, cos im tired.
im tired of gaining back ur trust,
since u cant forgive me after so long.

And when you finally said you had forgiven me,
its too late.
cuz you had found someone better.

my dear,
im not trying to compare with her.
i juz need you to be fair to me.
Put urself into my position, you will noe how i felt.

so i left,
and gave up on you.

However, sometime, my answer wont be a NO.
i still think of you.
im still hoping things would
get back like last time.
i still wanna be there for you.

but like what you mentioned,
it would be weird.

whatever, it is.
i hope you could forget about the incident.
likewise, be fair to her.
it was me who accidentally betrayed ur trust 2 years back.
it wasnt her.
Trust her with ur problems
since she's someone impt to you nw.
:)

Once again,
my heart shattered.
i pray it aint real.
but something to test our relationship.

my mum told me,
jaren isnt the one for me.

i wish its nt true.
fate, is so ridiculous & i dun wanna leave it to fate !
LET ME CHOOSE WHO I WANNA BE WITH.
ITS MY LIFE.
I HAVE THE AUTHORITY
STOP MESSING UP MY LIFE, FATE!

:'(