CTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml11/DTD/xhtml11.dtd"> LOVIN THE WAY I AM

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Feeling

Reasons for breakin:
He once hurt me deeply & my feelin fade off
Both feel drifted
loses confidence after that issue
Communication problems
Frequent Quarreling which make me feel tat he "No longer that someone i used Know"


Take time to realised,
a small percentage for breaking was
He's someone tat couldnt grant my interest?
Kinda like his social life after the broke up.
tat was those life tat i always wanted to experience myself.
but sad to say,
he refused everything and insist of sending me back by 11pm.
Sometimes, i do wish to stay up with him till 2am plus.


sometime i wonder,
shld i thank or disike the way my parent brought me up?
Having me by their side safely till im 18 yrs old
& Knowing nothing abt Outdoor leisure activities & "outside world" till nw?

No games
No movie
No korean drama
No cartoons
No outing wif frens
Only Home & Homework tats all x)

haaa
isnt interest suppose to be created since young?
Hw could i haf such a interest?

well well,
living up to 19 years old.
Im not interested in gaming
Im not interested in Card games
Im not interested in animation
No pub, No club, No bowling, No KTV, Pool once x)
hahaaa wad a sucking social life i had gotten for myself
wooHooo~
Ping~ im joining you to become a boring gf LOL
i guess im worse than you x)


haaa
but there again,
Im fickle minded to decide whether to go pub or not.
urmmm
cos tats "something" tat make me special.
a gal who doesnt pub, seemed rare nw.
& i love being that special someone in people's eyes.
& Im afraid of getting addicted to it
cos i Know i would love the ambience there x)


To be honest,
when a guy hurt me deeply, i wont get back or get attached with the guy.
cos im afraid somehw they will be the one hurtin me again.
Had enough of it.
Likewise, i wont get together wif someone who i dun haf any feelin for.
who does?

Aniwae,
Thanks jaren for the breakfast surprised made by you x)
sweet of you!

yeaaa
Basically, woke up early & took a bus to jaren hse to slack
met up with his 4 friends =.=
like some triple dates.
but NAH...
me & jaren nt together.
soo yeppp...

Basically i feel weird
really weird.
Not that im anti social
but somehow we cant "clique"
haaa
basically his friends & i came from 2 different world.
age about 20, 21, yet we had a big dif in social life.

Thus, i shall not join them in future.
dun wanna spoil their mood.
shall let jaren bond with them rather than draggin me along =x
i end this at 9:05 AM with 0 comments

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I had enough

You are stressin me
You are stressin me
Isnt my ans clear enough
that we wont haf any chance again?
Isnt my ans clear enough
tat i had enough of all this?
Isnt my ans clear enough
tat my feelin for you had faded?
Isnt my ans clear enough tat
no point patching back?

You are pushin me to avoid you
You really are..
The more i dun wanna hurt you
yet the more you are pushin me to do so.

yeaahh
problem lies on me.
Came to realised that
I cant put the "hurt" behind me all this while.
I tried to forgive you,
I tried to gain back the feeling with you,
but all this while,
i had been lyin to myself.
&
decided to leave.

I know im selfish.
plss forgive me.
I cant force myself to get with someone i dun love anymore.
sooner or later,
problems will come.
sooner or later,
there wont be happiness.
sooner or later,
i wil feel suffocated

Im sorry,
but i have to let you go, baby.

For your goods,
For my goods,
we should really stop.
I noe im selfish, im sorry.

I had never regret being with you once.


OMG,
really hate school reopening.
Now, i haf 4 presentation in hand, 1 practical exam, 1 cpr theory exam.

aniwae,
ruihao soo sweet.
he wrote a thank you card to me
cos i bought him a can of soya bean drink ytd.
stupid guy, ate bread for lunch juz to save money.
-__-

and thanks to jaren,
who perk me up when im down during this period.
yepp enjoyed the outing with you ytd
Hopefully you enjoy urself, piggy.
Last & not least, thanks for fetching me from school
& walk me home from vivo. x)
i end this at 8:13 AM with 0 comments

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Loses appetite

Im stress
&
exhausted.

Been sobbing for almost everynite.

I had never felt this way before.
wishin i cld haf a break.

Loses my appetite
&
been sleeping at 4am 5am plus
almost everydae.

You could be shock to Noe what i ate
for the past few days.

wed,
ate half share of lunchbox
&
ate egg & veg for dinner

Thurs,
drank 2 packets of milo
&
6 pieces of biscuits.
&
drinking half cup of hard liquor to slp well

Friday,
Ate half share of lunchbox

Sat,
Ate KFC for lunch onli

Sunday,
3 chicken wings with less than a bowl of rice.

Happy thing is,
i had successfully slim down.
-_-

but
i duno,
i just doesnt like it.

I hate the sight of food nw.
Im nt tempted to eat.
Im just forcing myself to eat sth.
tats it.

And after a week decision making,
i shall declared that,
i had broke off with dear
on 4th July.

Its complicated.
& i had a hard time to make such a painful decision.
But memories still stays
always
x)

&
we are still frenz

To be honest,
i feel that im becoming like ping.
Only difference is,
im willing to give it a try.
but the fact is,
the picture of what kinda guy i wan
in life,
is kinda blurred nw.

Im still struggling
though we had part.
wad i need is just time x)

2 weeks holiday wasnt enough for me.
Infact it doesnt seem like a holiday for me
been going to school for long hrs
for 6 times -_-

Aniwae,
jaren donated blood -_-
bt he felt giddy halfway through.

&
i was being rejected to donate
cos im havin close contact with patients -_-''


Seeking someone, who will cherish her
i end this at 12:08 AM with 0 comments
copyright © SHASHA 2008.

.She

THAT LADYY

Name: Jeslyn
Date of birth: 10 Jan 1989
Gender: FeMaLe
Status: In a relationship
Occupation: Missy in SGH

.She HATES

CopyCat
Smoker who smoke infront of me
Cockroach
Mozzie

.She WANTS


Phang Nyit Shen

Love & Co Ring

Gucci Sunglass by 2013
Louis Vuitton bag by 2012
Lancel Wallet
Macro Len

Degree in psychlogy
Advance dip in critical care
Learn Golf by 2012
Learn Ballroom dance by 2013

.tagME


.lovelies


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